


Too good for Him

by super_sad_instrumental



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:24:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5004721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/super_sad_instrumental/pseuds/super_sad_instrumental
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Elimination Chamber, Renee finds a familiar (and a very drunken) face knocking on her hotel room door. She might think she’s finally on the same page with the Loonatic Fringe but will soon learn that Dean Ambrose has more than just skeletons in his closet – and one of them has an “Explicit” name.</p><p>An angsty, dark yet hopeful Deanee fic, inspired by a thought of Dean having a split personality. Purely fiction. EDIT: added dates to keep up with the story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Off-the-clock

**_May 31st_ **

Technically, it was already June, but Renee was one of those people to consider the date changing only after waking up in the morning. It had been a long night for her as she sat down on the bed at the hotel room, taking off her heels and letting her body drop on the bed with a sigh. 3 in the morning wasn’t exactly an ideal time to call it a night when Raw would be live the next night, especially after a pay-per-view, but she had just been so excited after the show had went off air that sleep wouldn’t have come anyway. Summer had asked her out for a drink afterwards, and Renee just couldn’t say no – especially when there was a big chance they might run into the man of the hour himself. He was without a doubt out himself, celebrating with Roman. Renee couldn’t think of another person brave (or stupid) enough to publicly align himself with Dean Ambrose.

As a professional, she had of course stayed neutral in the never-ending war for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship (although the Authority kept every employee at WWE on their toes when it came to alliances) but as Dean Ambrose had boldly walked away with the title, completely ignoring the disqualification, a happy laugh of disbelief had escaped her lips backstage. Of course she had secretly rooted for him, who hadn’t? Not many people liked the eccentric man per se, but would love nothing more than to see Seth Rollins not get what he wants for a change – Renee included. Off-the-clock, of course. She had no desire to get on the bad side of the Authority, and had no personal issues with them – and more importantly, they had no personal issues with her. Yet. Seeing as her most current personal dilemma was dangerously turning into a professional one.

A loud knock on the door woke Renee up from her thoughts and she glanced at the door from the bed. Maybe she had forgotten something at the bar and Summer was cleaning after her, as usual. She got up, brushed her flattering black dress a bit and headed to the door, as the knocking got even louder and impatient.

“Yeah, yeah, just a sec!” she let and curiously looked through the peephole, expecting to see Summer looking at her with a knowing look on the other side of the door. She couldn't have been more wrong.

“Shit,” Renee quietly let out, cursing at herself for speaking before checking who she was talking to.

“It’s been more than a sec, darlin’, I counted,” Dean’s raspy and very much drunken voice laughed on the other side. She took a deep breath, hid her wide smile like a professional (and straight-up _refused_ to let her cheeks blush) and opened the door. Dean fell almost right into her, as he had apparently been leaning on the door the whole time. A bright, dorky smirk appeared on his lips as he saw her and she had trouble hiding hers.

“Hi,” he said, swaying a little and clearly had trouble keeping his eyes open. His baby blue, mischievous yet kind eyes under that nest he called hair. But it was kind of adorable how messy -

_Stop that._

Dean had the WWE title with him, of course he did. Renee doubted he’d ever willingly let it out of his sight again, not after finally getting his hands on it.

“Hi,” Renee said and crossed her arms, cocking her brow at him. “Business hours are over, Ambrose.”

“Exactly,” he said, and leaned on the wall, looking at her under his brows with a small smirk. “That’s when the Authority has eyes everywhere.” He wiggled his fingers right in front of her face. “I figured _now_ I could actually come 'n talk to you.”

“It’s three in the morning.”

“Well, I don’t see you sleepin’ all dolled up like that.”

She looked away from him, failing at holding in an amused smile, while he let out a small chuckle. Looking back at him, she narrowed her eyes and put hands on her hips.

“So did you forget your room number or loose your keycard?”

His smile fainted a little as he just looked at her and cleared his throat.

“Both,” he mumbled, ruffling his hair and Renee bit her lip to hold in a laugh.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he sighed again, after a pause. “Roman kinda ditched me – well, his room is in the other hotel, so he didn't - he uh –  _he_ remembered the number and I _had_  the keycard… But I figured I’d come ‘n talk to you first -”

“And _then_ you lost your keycard.”

“And then I lost the keycard,” he simultaneously stated with her. “Yeah. And  _then_ I forgot where my room is – and besides,” Dean patted the Championship on his shoulder. “I just took something very precious from the Authority that they want back, so it’s really not safe for me to be all alone tonight.”

Renee shook her head a bit, looking away again and Dean just wouldn’t stop smirking like an idiot. An adorable idiot, and just kept staring at her. This… _whatever_ this was had been going on for a while now, and both of them knew the effect they had on one another. "Crush" was a word for teenagers. Renee was an adult and a professional – but also a friend of Dean’s. It was late, and she wouldn’t let him just pass out drunk on the hallway, because by the looks of it, he was about to.

“I mean, the last place they’d know where to look –“

“Just get in here, you idiot.”

A bright smile spread across his face as he bowed down a little at Renee, making her chuckle. He didn’t take a step forward, though, and just kept his eyes on the bed on the other side of the room, squinting his eyes, concentrating through the alcohol affecting his whole body. Renee raised her brows a bit.

“Need some help getting there?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok,” she sighed, a little amused, and took his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will be relatively short, but posted shortly after one another, since the fic is complete. English isn't my native language, but I've wanted to use slang and such in dialogue anyway - so please do tell me if something is way off and doesn't sound natural or just funny in general. More cute banter coming up next!


	2. Drunk talk

“There you go,” Renee grunted as she helped Dean into the bed. He kept swinging his hand, telling her he’s fine but couldn’t even stand up on his own after standing so long behind her door. He was way more drunk than he first let on, which made him still finding _her_ hotel room instead of his own or even Roman’s a lot more… Renee didn’t want to think “suspicious” more than “flattering”.

“Uuuugh, that feels good,” Dean moaned as he crashed on the bed and wiggled around, trying to take his leather jacket off. Renee chuckled and ended up helping him, and took the Championship belt from him, assuring him that she was not, in fact, a spy for the Authority who was sent to seduce Dean with her "womanly attributes" to steal the title from him while he was sleeping. She put the belt on the nightstand next to Dean and his jacket on top of hers on a chair nearby.

“Thanks, darlin’,” he smiled as his head fell on the pillow.

“No problem, Dean,” she smiled and turned around but suddenly felt a hand grab her arm. She turned around, and saw Dean looking at her, eyes trying to focus but with a child-like expression.

“Hey, could you… could you stay with me for a while?” he mumbled and patted the bed next to him. “Riiiiiiiight here.”

She looked at him, a little taken back and neither of them smiled anymore. Dean genuinely seemed to want her there, _need_ her there. And the look on his face puzzled her. It didn’t confuse, it was just… different.

“Ok,” she finally said in a re-assuring tone and a small smile, and sat down on the bed.

“No, no, lay down,” he insisted. “Just… just for a minute.”

And then he said it.

“Please."

And if that wasn’t enough…

“I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

He meant it. Renee could see it in his eyes… but he was _definitely_ still screwing with her a bit. With a small smile and a wicked glimmer in her eye, she patted his cheek.

“Are you trying to appeal to my motherly nursing instincts as a woman?”

Dean narrowed his eyes a bit.

“Is it working?”

“No,” she smirked and cocked her head. “But I’ll still do it because I’m exhausted and this is my bed. Move over.”

She laid down next to him and put a hand behind her head, facing Dean. He smiled back at her, happily and his eyes started to shift and close as he started to breath heavily. Renee chuckled at the sight and slightly run a finger through his hair, taking it away from his face. Dean suddenly started to smile and opened his other eye.

“Did you just do that?” he grinned.

“Sorry,” she laughed.

“No, no, no, it’s… it’s nice,” he said. “It feels nice. You can – you can keep doing it. If you want.”

So she did. His dirty blond hair felt rough, need of upkeep but also just naturally messy. She remembered a time when he had always smeared it back, back when she had first met him, when he was in the SHIELD. It made him look more serious, more uptight and straight up mean. She remembered him being like that, too. She liked this messy, more loosed up Dean better, anyway. This Dean was the friend she cared about.

“When’s the last time you had a haircut, Ambrose?” she teased and Dean just squinted his eyes at her.

“Pass,” he sighed and closed his eyes. “Next question.”

Renee laughed a bit at him and Dean opened his eyes again to look at her. He smiled, too, absent-mindly. There was a dreamy glint in his eye.

“Renee?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re really, really beautiful.”

Renee’s smile fainted a little at his sudden compliment, and the way he said it.

“Thanks, Dean,” she smiled anyway, brushing the feeling she had about it off.

“No, no, I – I mean it,” he quickly went to say, as if she hadn’t understood his words. “I’m not just sayin’ that just ‘cause you… because you kissed me.”

Renee looked at him with her brows furrowed. Dean’s eyes shifted from her eye to eye, a faint smile on his lips. She had kissed him, yes, a small peck on the cheek before his big match, off-camera, of course. For good luck, she had said. Dean had always been a big flirt to a lot of women, including her but these recent feelings of hers were something else, as were his sudden stolen glances and rare smiles he constantly flashed her for a while now. She’d catch him staring at her and even catch herself staring back. He was fun to be around with, a little eccentric but he was always so calm and kind to her. Like he tried to be more… “normal”, in a way, just for her. Dating wasn’t a word she’d never associate with Dean Ambrose, though, and she wasn’t exactly looking for anything right now. But having any kind of relations with a man with a huge target constantly on his back like Dean had – that was definitely something she did not want to get into. Just Dean, on the other hand…

“You… you don’t wanna talk about it?” he said, with a hint of disappointment in his voice. Renee looked down to his lips and kept fiddling with his hair. She didn’t want to talk about, no. She just wanted to kiss him again.

“How about in the morning, when you’ve sobered up?” she asked with a small smirk, secretly hoping he wouldn’t even remember taking the Championship in the morning. Dean just furrowed his brows, acting offended.

“What’s so great about sober Dean, huh? I tell you – I tell you what: drunk Dean is _better_ than sober Dean, aight?” He pointed a finger at her, touching her nose a bit and Renee bit her lip to hold in laughter. “See, drunk Dean is fun. Drunk Dean is… He’s _hot_.”

He swallowed loudly to hold in a burb and Renee wrinkled her nose a bit.

“Oh, yeah,” she sarcastically narrowed her eyes and Dean just scoffed at her.

“You’re just jealous,” he mumbled at her, throwing his hand around. “The ladies _love_ drunk Dean Ambrose, all the ladies love ‘im, all the ladies want ‘im. I know, I’ve been there, when Dean Ambrose wasn’t even there, ‘cause there was only Jon Moxley and he was… Oh, lemme – lemme tell you about Jon Moxley, aight?”

Renee furrowed her brows a bit. Jon Moxley? The name didn’t ring any bells.

“Now, Jon… Jon was not a nice guy, I mean – Dean Ambrose isn’t a nice guy, Dean Ambrose is a douchebag, right? But a – a lovable douchebag, y’know? Dean Ambrose has… redeemable qualities… and d’ya _why_ all the ladies love Dean Ambrose? It’s because Dean Ambrose has a soft side. But Moxley… oooh, Jon Moxley was ruthless, Jon Moxley had no empathy, no remorse, none of that crap, oh no – Jon Moxley would take what he wants, when he wants it, whether it was a title or a woman – Jon Moxley - was a monster! And he did things, only monsters –”

“Dean.”

He shot his wide eyes at her, breathing heavily through his nose, brows furrowed. Renee could see him heating up, his breath catching up and he was going off-track, talking about ‘Jon Moxley’, whoever he was. Dean blinked at her a couple of times, as if he didn’t fully recognize her or where he was.

 _You’re scaring me_ , she wanted to say. Instead, she put a hand softly on his cheek and he seemed to register reality a little better.

“Who is Jon –“

“Don’t,” he let out, and his voice was shaking and he bit his lips as if he was going to… Renee was suddenly startled by his show of emotion.

“Don’t ask me that,” he whispered. “’Cause…’cause if you ask me that, I’m… I’m gonna tell you. And you don’t want me to tell you.”

Renee looked at him, taken back. There was no screwing around this time, he meant every single word he said and was hiding no emotion. Dean was upset. Renee had never, ever seen him like this. She didn’t know what to make of it.

“Ok,” she said, stroking his cheek, trying to calm him down a bit. “Ok.”

Dean let out a frantic sigh and closed his eyes, crunching his nose a bit, and let out a growl.

“I – I don’t know what happened but… One day I woke up and I looked at you and you looked at me back and – you looked at me… like you knew. And then I… I saw you out there, and I thought to myself, I thought… You’re – you’re my best girl, y’know, I – I know I can count on you, y’know? I didn’t wanna ruin that…”

He was rambling again and Renee had no idea what to say. She knew exactly what he was talking about, though.

“You… you’re too good for me...”

_And you're too hard on yourself._

“Dean?”

He looked at her with sleepy eyes and a kind smile. She liked that kind smile.

“You know you mean a lot to me, right?” she asked, placing a hand on his cheek and he nodded. “You really do. I just want you to know that.”

“Course I know that, silly,” Dean chuckled and closed his eyes and Renee just smiled, letting out a huff. “But, hey, Renee… Nee, Nene, listen. We’re gonna talk about that kiss in the morning but… Just promise me one thing…”

“Anything.”

“Promise me… that it won’t… that it won’t ruin everything. I don’t wanna ruin everything. ‘Cause we’re in a good place, you and me, you and _I_ , we’re – we’re cool. We have fun, right? You had fun tonight?”

Renee sighed.

“I did.”

“Cool, me too,” Dean laughed, his eyes closing and his speech getting even more erratic and sleepy. “Seth looked _so_ stupid out there, he… He and his stupid hobbits, they were… Right under their stupid…”

Renee couldn’t make up the rest of Dean’s speech before he finally calmed down and fell asleep. She stayed with him for a while and didn’t even realize how tired she herself was as she couldn’t get up again and fell asleep right next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the main reason for the rating and the archive warnings, and things take a really dark turn. Stop reading here if you want to keep it cute and safe, is what I'm saying, basically.


	3. Moxley

_**June 1st** _

Renee woke up, squinting her eyes and felt sunlight on her face. She had forgot to close the curtains in the evening, or even get up to change. It had been a long day for sure, and she had no idea what the time was. She suddenly realized a hand was resting on her stomach lazily and she turned around to see Dean still sound asleep, breathing peacefully. It brought a smile to her face and she didn’t dare to move his hand. She closed her eyes again and sighed loudly.

Suddenly, she felt his hand move and a grunt come from her left.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she smiled, not opening her eyes yet. She knew Dean wasn’t a morning person and would probably have a huge hangover. He would likely just groan back at her and snuffle back to sleep.

“Good don’t even begin to cover it.”

She rapidly opened her eyes as the hand forcefully grabbed her by her side and yanked her closer, and another one grabbed her other side as Dean quickly swung himself atop of her. She didn’t even have time to protest before he grabbed her wrists with one hand and pushed them over her head as he pushed her body down on the bed.

“Dean, what the - ?!” she let out but he grabbed her face with his other hand and put his own face dangerously close to hers. It was then when she saw the look on his face and felt shivers down her spine. His hair hang over his eyes that looked a lot darker. His pupils were over-dilated as he breathed heavily on her with a predatory look.

“Don’t call me that,” he murmured, in a feral voice that she could barely recognize as Dean’s. His accent suddenly got a lot thicker, too.

“Dean, get off of me!” she suddenly spit at him and tried to fight back but he just let out a mean laugh. “This isn’t funny!”

“I just told ya!” he growled and suddenly pushed her head against the bed forcefully, taking her wrists in both of his hands and it _hurt_. He was deliberately _hurting_ her. His breath stank slightly of yesterday’s booze as he breathed down on her heavily.

“Dean ain’t here right now...”

Renee looked back at his deranged face still in shock. Dean had a quick temper and a twisted sense of humor but this was not like Dean, not at all. He would _never_ think this was funny in any way – and if he did… Maybe Renee didn’t know Dean as well as she thought. A sudden flashback to memory emerged and she felt shivers down her spine. He wasn’t acting like the Dean she called her friend, he was acting more like the way he was in the SHIELD, when she had first met him. Suddenly rage started bubbling inside her.

“You jerk, get off of me!” Renee spit and finally managed to push Dean away. She really didn’t appreciate whatever this was, and quickly slid off the bed, leaving Dean on his knees on it, looking at her with a cocked head, his hair still in front his eyes. His gaze was intense and it scared her. Dean was always screwing around with her, but why would he “joke around” like this when he clearly saw it wasn’t funny to her? A wide grin suddenly appeared on his lips as he chuckled at Renee, who was breathing through her nose frantically and keeping her eyes wide on him.

“Easy now, darlin’,” he raised his hands with a wicked grin. “I just don’t appreciate being called the wrong name, you know what I’m sayin’?”

“I really don’t,” she said, not moving an inch, slightly massaging her wrists – and trying to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. “What do you mean you’re not Dean, what the hell is this? Who – who the hell are you, then?”

He suddenly jumped off the bed and Renee nearly sprinted across the room to the other side. Dean chuckled, but again, sounded _nothing_ like Dean.

“I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to ya, baby,” he grinned. It was not Dean’s grin, not his nice, playful grin. She had seen it a couple of times before, always in the ring, when he was really beating someone down, and got lost in the moment. When he looked like he was _enjoying_ it.

“That’s not an answer,” she said in a calm, demanding tone.

“Well, you didn’t ask me very nicely, now did ya?” he smiled and raised his hands, swaying slightly. Renee felt more scared by the second. Whoever she was with in the hotel room right now, was _not_ Dean. She didn’t know how, but it wasn’t. It was as if she had woken up next to a complete stranger, who seemed not only unstable but unpredictable – and Renee was friends with a man who made a living being called those things. Being called something, and _actually_ being something were too completely things, however.

She suddenly remembered her phone was in her jacket pocket, and her jacket was behind “Dean” on a chair. She sighed and prepared herself mentally.

“Ok, I’m – I’m sorry,” she said, also raising her hands and taking a step towards him. “You – you look like Dean and you say you’re not him. I’m just a little freaked out here, ok?”

‘Dean’ looked at her, curiously, and then started to chuckle.

“Deano didn’t tell you about lil ol’ me?” He licked his lips as Renee got closer. “Name’s Moxley.”

Renee froze right where she stood. It took her only a second to remember what Dean had talked about last night – _who_ he had talked about. Jon Moxley. The man seemed to notice her realization as he started to chuckle.

“Nah, you have heard of me, haven’t ya? Tell me, what’d he say ‘bout me?”

 _That you were a monster_ , Renee thought to herself and swallowed.

“Nothing…too bad, I hope,” he said and grinned afterwards. “Then again, it’s probably true.”

“Why are you in his body?” she asked. She still had no idea who – or _what_ – Jon Moxley was, and how she’d get Dean back. She was almost circling him now, as she finally got the chair and leaned against it, searching her phone discreetly.

“No, no, no – you see, we _share_ this body. It ain’t his alone… Fuck, he’s gotten us even more jacked up, hasn’t he?”

Moxley examined Dean’s well-built arms and stretched the muscles, chuckling and suddenly took his top off, alarming Renee as he threw it at her and punched his abdomen a couple of times, still laughing, looking at Renee occasionally, who just threw his shirt away from her face. Moxley suddenly looked puzzled and then grabbed his crotch, making Renee take a step back and move against the wall with the chair. She didn’t know whether she should be confused, scared or disgusted. Maybe all three.

“Wh – what the hell are you – stop that.”

Moxley… _felt_ himself around a little, making faces.

“C’mon, sweetheart, s’not like you weren’t down there last night.”

Renee shot him an outraged look.

_“Excuse me?”_

He didn’t elaborate, just finally just shrugged and waved his hand, and put it on Renee’s shoulder – the same hand that had just felt his crotch for a good while and Renee slapped it away. Moxley looked hurt at that.

“Relax, will ya.”

Whoever this ‘Moxley’ persona was, he was even worse than Dean had been back in the day – he seemed to have Dean’s old, most disgusting qualities, amplified with a hundred – and none of his self-restraint, which by itself, was little to none.

“I – I don’t wanna know,” she just let out, with the half-naked Moxley standing in front of her, ruffling his hair a bit, looking puzzled by it as he examined a single straw, pulling it a little. During all of this, Renee had finally managed to find her phone and was squeezing it tight in her hand behind her back. Her hands where slightly shaking.

“Listen, Moxley…”

He suddenly shot his eyes at her again, giving her his full attention and was now standing dangerously close and as she tried to push him back, he didn’t give in. Him being shirtless didn’t help the situation at all.

“Would you – would you mind? I really need to use the bathroom.”

Moxley just cocked his head.

“No, you really don’t,” he said, and suddenly moved a lot quicker than she would’ve expected, and grabbed her wrist behind her back, where she was holding her phone. She tried to yank it off but he just tightened his grip, making her grimace since it was still hurting from him grabbing it earlier.

“Someone’s been a _baaad_ girl.”

“Moxley –“

“Who were you gonna call, huh?” he asked, clearly getting heated up and she was very hesitant to answer anything. His grip on her got even tighter.

“I wasn’t –“

 _“DON’T,”_ he suddenly snatched the phone from her with his other hand and threw it against the wall, making her heart jump to her throat, but didn’t let go of her wrist. There was going to be a bruise now for sure. “…lie to me. I don’t like it when people lie to me, try to use me like that. Tryna make me look like an idiot, huh? Think this is funny?!”

Renee swallowed hard but kept her cool. She wasn’t dealing with Dean now, Moxley was not her friend nor friendly. She’d had to be very careful if she wanted to get away from him and find out what the hell was going on in the first place.

“I was gonna call Roman,” she told him the truth, and clenched her teeth at the sharp pain on her wrist. “You know him?”

“Oh, do I?” Moxley chuckled. “Mr. Powerhouse and I go _waaay_ back. He know you here?”

Renee nodded, not sure if Roman did (in which case, no one did, which was a possibility she did not want Moxley to find out about) and Moxley took a step back, finally releasing her hand and she breathed in a little to hold the pain, examining it. Yeah, it was definitely going to be bruised later. It made her furious. He had already touched her wrong two times and it made her breathing catch up to her angrily.

“Yeah, figured as much,” he smirked. “See – the first thing I see when I wake up…” He looked over to the nightstand where the Championship belt was resting. “ – is that lil thing of beauty. And I figure, Deano got himself a title again. And the next thing I see – is _this_ lil thing of beauty lying right next to me. And I figure…” He came closer again and growled. “Deano got himself a whore.”

Renee’s eyes widened at him as Moxley raised his brows at her, looking at her up and down.

“A pretty fancy one, too, by the looks of it…”

“I am… _NOT_  a prostitute,” she let out, letting her anger get the best of her, and pointed a finger at him. “And we didn’t – we don’t do that.”

Moxley narrowed his eyes at her and suddenly started laughing, and grabbed her by her waist, yanking her as close as possible. By instinct Renee tried to push him back but it was no use as he hold her in tighter with both strong arms wrapping around her body. His bare skin felt hot on hers, and she could feel his heart beat being ridiculously quick. She started panicking, squirming around but all he did was laugh and keep her in place.

“You’re tellin’ the truth, aren’t ya?” he chuckled at her uneasiness, as she tried to push her body – her face most importantly – as far away from his as she could. “You didn’t do nothing? No wonder I woke up horny like this.”

He suddenly released one of his hands from her waist and grabbed her chin forcefully, and Renee had no time to react before he forced his lips unto hers. Her eyes went wide at the contact, and the seconds it lasted felt like minutes – he tasted of old liquor and smoke – and out of nowhere she felt a stinging pain on her lip and cried out on his mouth, before her body finally woke up to the situation. She raised her hand and smacked him across his face as hard as she could and their lips parted in disharmony, as she used the distraction to wiggle her way out of his tight grip on her.

She pushed him away and nearly sprinted towards the door, her mind screaming only to get as far as possible Moxley. She was just about to grab the handle and slam the door open but suddenly stopped.

Dean. He was still out there – _in_ there with Moxley, somewhere, somehow. She couldn’t just leave him like this.

She didn’t hear him follow. Renee touched her lower lip, feeling it pulse and ache. It was swollen and she tasted blood on her teeth. The sick bastard had _bit_ her.

 _Jon Moxley would take what he wants, when he wants, whether it was a title or a woman,_ Dean had said. It all came rushing back to her as she stood facing the door.

Three times. Three times he had violated her body during this short time. Not only hers – but _Dean’s_ as well. Suddenly, the felt a rush of pure hatred overcome her fear and desire to flee as she looked over her shoulder, turning around slowly to face Moxley, staring at him furiously under her brows, breathing heavily. Moxley was looking at the ground, cocking his head slightly, holding his cheek which was red hot and looked like it hurt. She didn’t know if it was hurting Dean, too, but he’d understand. Maybe. Moxley lifted his head just enough to look at her with a mean side-eye and an angry smirk. There was a little blood on his teeth – her blood.

“That hurt.”

“Good,” she spit through her teeth and refused to hide her anger anymore. She saw how it startled him a little, no, fascinated was the right word. He cocked his head a little more, chuckling at her attitude change and licked his lips a bit, touching his cheek more and grimaced a bit. Renee suddenly pointed a finger at him, steady.

“You listen to me very carefully, asshole. I am not going to fuck you, and you are not going to fuck me, and if you even think about trying… If you lay your hands on me again, I will kill you.”

Moxley just kept looking at her, his hair hanging in front of his eyes and was silent for a long time, not moving before he finally took a slow step forward and Renee lifted her chin in defiance. He stopped right after that single step, staring her, frozen – before he suddenly closed his eyes, and sighed like an impatient child, dropping his shoulders.

“Well, you don’t have to be a bitch about it,” he opened his eyes to snarl at her and turned around to grab Dean’s leather jacket from the chair. She stared at him back at disbelief, confused at his sudden change of demeanor.

“But I could really use a good fuck right now – especially since you slappin’ me kinda turned me on,” he sighed, matter-of-factly, and put on the leather jacket – without a shirt underneath – and searched the empty pockets, before making a face and noticing her purse on the ground. All she could do is stare at him angrily as he grabbed it, went through it and found some cash, smiling, and threw the purse away on the bed. “So if you ain’t givin’ me any, I’m gonna go ‘n find some. Later, toots.”

Moxley put the cash in his pocket and waved at her, mockingly, as he walked past her on the door and opened it. Stopping suddenly before leaving, he chuckled and returned to take the Championship belt with him. Renee wanted to stop him, for Dean, not let the monster out of sight to protect her friend’s body – but couldn’t bring herself to move an inch. The stinging pain and the taste of blood from her lip, never mentioning her aching, bruising wrists got the better of her. She had no desire to be in any contact with Moxley, ever again and wanted nothing more than him to be gone.

Him, _not_ Dean.

She didn’t register fully what had happened before he was already out of the room, and slammed the door shut. She stood still for a good minute before starting to shake uncontrollably and burst into tears, crawling to lean against the wall, hugging herself.

_What the hell just happened?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO Moxley's an complete asshole. But definitely fun to write - unlike hurt Renee, I hate doing that. But she'll get back at him, for sure, you do NOT mess with Renee Young like that. Explanations (and a certain 250 pound Samoan!) coming up next in a chapter MAYBE a little lighter than this one.


	4. Explicit

_“It’s Roman.”_

“Hi, Roman…” she said into the hotel phone, her voice still slightly shaking and she couldn’t help but sniff.

 _“Renee?”_ Roman’s deep voice answered, already noticing the distress in hers. _“You calling from the hotel?”_

“Yeah…”

_“You alright?”_

“Uhm… I, uh…” her voice was shaking.

_“Renee – take it easy, ok? Talk to me.”_

She breathed in and swallowed hard, her hand shaking, holding an ice bag over her swollen lip.

“Dean… Dean was here last night.”

 _“Uh-huh?”_ Roman chuckled but still sounded confused. _“Did – did something happen? Is he alright?”_

“I – I don’t know.”

_“What do you mean you don’t know?”_

“I didn’t know who else to call.”

_“Renee, what – what’re you talking about?”_

She took another deep breath and put the ice bag down, running the hand through her hair.

“Does ‘Jon Moxley’ say anything to you?”

Roman was silent for a long time and all Renee could hear was his breathing getting heavier.

 _“Renee, listen to me, ok?”_ he finally said, his voice stern and hiding an angry Samoan. _“I know this is confusing but I need you to be completely honest with me right now, ok? I need you to do this for me.”_

“O-okay?”

_“Are you there with him?”_

“No, He – he left.”

_“Did he say where he was going?”_

“No, but… he said…”

_“Renee, it’s ok.”_

“No, it’s not, Roman, I – I don’t know, ok?! I don’t understand –“

_“Renee, I’ll explain everything, I promise, but we need to find him first. Do you have any idea where he could’ve gone?”_

“He uh… He said he wanted to – that he wanted a…” Renee felt her words fail her as she closed her eyes again. “I think he went to look for a… prostitute, maybe.”

She could hear a sigh from the other end and Roman mumbling something to himself.

 _“Ok, Renee, listen – Stay right where you are, I’m leaving my hotel now so I should be there in about 20 minutes, ok? And if he happens to come back… Do_ not _let him leave the room.”_

Now she was silent in turn and put a hand over her mouth. Roman could probably hear the small whimper coming out of her as he suddenly sounded more panicky himself.

 _“Oh, Jesus, Renee,”_ he let out. _“Please tell me he didn’t…”_

“No, no,” she was quick to reply and swallowed, her voice still shaking. “He… he tried.”

 _“That fucking –“_ Roman cursed on the other line and Renee was taken back. The big Samoan, though looking mean, was the biggest sweetheart she knew and hardly ever cursed – unless he was _seriously_ angry. And when Roman Reigns was angry, things were _seriously_ bad.

_“Do you… Can you tell me what happened?”_

“He…” Renee started, collecting herself. She really didn’t want to go into specifics. “I told him no, and he… he broke my phone and left. Roman, wh – who the hell is this guy? Why haven’t I heard from him, what is –“

_“I’ll explain everything once I get there ok?”_

She closed her eyes again and sighed. The day hadn’t even begun yet and she was already dead tired.

“Ok.”

_“Renee – it’s gonna be ok. Everything’s gonna be fine, trust me.”_

“Ok.”

Roman hang up and she breathed, heavily. The 20 minutes felt like 2 hours, as her mind was racing, and her body shaking. When she closed her eyes, all she saw were Dean’s twisted features staring at her. She suddenly thought to herself if she could ever look at him again, and held in a small whimper. She _wanted_ to see Dean again, she wanted him back, more than anything in the world.

Finally, someone knocked on the door. She felt her heart jump to her throat.

“Renee, it’s me,” Roman’s deep, soft voice came through and she sighed in relief, opening the door for him and as soon as he saw the state of her swollen lip and red eyes, he went for a hug and she buried herself into his shoulder, letting out tears she just couldn’t hold in.

“I’m so sorry, Renee. God, I’m –“

“It’s not your fault.”

“I – I could’ve –“ he said and let go, looking at Renee and shook his head, angrily. “I should’ve known, Dean was so wasted last night, but I just – I figured it wouldn’t happen…”

“What are you talking about?” Renee anxiously let out. “Roman, please.”

“We need to find him.”

“Why?”

“I’m responsible and Moxley – Moxley can’t be out there.”

“Roman – who is Jon Moxley?”

Roman looked at her but she refused to see fear behind his eyes. Not him too.

 

* * *

 

“Jon Moxley was an alias that Dean used back in in his indie days, when he wasn’t wrestling for WWE yet. He wrestled in some crazy matches as Moxley, we’re talking about some seriously dangerous stuff. Barb wire, glass, you name it, it was… He still has scars about that stuff, both physical and mental ones. Jon Moxley would do stuff that no one else had the courage or the stupidity to do. But Dean isn’t stupid, and he realized that if he continued to push his body to the limit like that, it would not only end his career, but maybe even his life. So getting signed was a blessing, and that’s when he started to wrestle as Dean Ambrose, a couple of years ago – and you know the rest.”

“No, I really don’t,” Renee said impatiently, touching her lip tenderly as she walked the shady street with Roman. She was thankful for the daylight – _and_ having a 250 pound Samoan by her side didn’t exactly make the situation worse.

“That doesn’t explain why he suddenly woke up, calling himself Moxley and started acting like a completely different person,” she let out her frustration and waved her hand around, shaking her head. Roman stopped, sighed deeply and Renee looked at him. She had never seen the big man so anxious.

“I know,” he looked at her. “I was freaked out too the first time I saw it happen.”

Renee furrowed her brows at him and Roman looked at her before starting to walk again.

“Ho – How many times has this happened?!” she cried out, following him.

“I’ll explain everything, I promise, but we gotta find that crazy son-of-a-bitch first before he can do any real damage.”

They went into the 4rth shady bar/motel/deep end of humanity and finally, _finally_ , the receptionist recognized the picture they showed him. After a moment of re-assuring they were not cops, she showed them the way upstairs to the motel part of the bar, and a room number. They asked for a key, and of course she didn’t have a spare.

“Great,” Roman sighed, and him and Renee both got startled as a scream could be heard from the room.

“Yeah, you like that, baby?!”

“I love it, Mox!”

Renee just looked on the ground, wrinkling her nose in disgust and closed her eyes and Roman rolled his almost to the back of his head, and put a hand on his forehead, as if mentally preparing himself.

“Look, I can take it from here, you don’t have to –“

“I’m his friend too, Roman,” Renee interrupted, and Roman gave her a worried look. “And I can handle myself. No way in hell am I gonna sit this one up, not when it’s Dean.”

It took him a while, but Roman knew there was no arguing when Renee had made her mind. He nodded at her and with a heavy sigh, knocked on the door harshly.

“Moxley!” he shouted. “Stop…doing what you’re doing in there and open the door! Now!”

The voices in the room toned down a little and then they heard a laughter.

“Roman!” Moxley cackled. “Just a sec, bro, I’m almost done.”

“No, you _are_ done, Moxley!” Renee suddenly shouted. “That’s my money you’re fucking her with, so I say when you’re done! Open the damn door, asshole!”

It went really quiet in the room and Roman just raised his brows in admiration at Renee and she shrugged back at him, licking her lip again out of sudden anxiousness of having to look at Moxley eye to eye again. Suddenly, they heard steps and a lock being opened – and Jon Moxley, in all of his naked glory, opened the door and looked at them, sighing, with a hand on his hip. Roman quickly stepped in front of Renee, as if that would shield her from Moxley’s erection.

That was _not_ Dean naked right in front of her, Renee refused to think it that way. It was Moxley, a man she barely knew but already hated with a burning passion.

“Roman, s’been a while,” Moxley chuckled as Roman just glared him, breathing heavily and standing tall, looking at Moxley with his chin held up high. He was really intimidating when he was like that, Renee knew it, but Moxley seemed unaffected.

“Tough croud,” he shrugged and smirked at Renee. “Change of heart, darlin’? I mean, it _is_ your money so…might as well jump in, right?”

She scoffed at him, disgusted and he just grinned.

“Hey! Chastidy, or whatever!” he yelled back in the room.

“Roxanne!”

“Yeah, yeah, Roxy – hey, did I pay you enough for a threeway, sweetheart?” He looked over to Renee and reached out a hand to touch her lip. “Oh, that looks bad.”

Roman grabbed his hand before it could even get near her and he took a step forward, standing in his full height but Dean – _Moxley_ was still just a little taller than him.

“You touch her again and I will break your fingers, one by one,” he growled and Moxley just looked at him with lazy eyes, chuckling a bit.

“You mean… _Dean’s_ fingers, right?”

“He’d understand,” Renee said and narrowed her eyes at Moxley, who just looked her up and down. “Go put some pants on.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so, Moxley.”

He just laughed.

“And why would I listen to a prude bitch like –“

Roman suddenly let go of his hand and shoved him back in the room and he tumbled backwards, almost falling. He opened the door wide open but Roman suddenly looked away from the bed, clearing his throat as Roxanne, as the woman had named herself, was lying on the bed, quite nude, and her legs wide open. Renee just rolled her eyes a bit and Moxley looked over to Roxanne, waving his hand.

“Her?” Roxanne said with a squeamish voice and a thick accent and Moxley just grinned at Renee. “Sure, why not.”

Renee just sighed, trying to remain calm.

“Look, uh, Roxanne?”

“Uh-huh?”

“He… He paid you in advance?”

“Sure did.”

“Ok,” Renee sighed, massaging her temples. “How – how much?”

“500.”

“5 – ok, Jesus – look, you can go. _Please_ , go.”

Roxanne just raised a brow at her and then looked at Moxley who protested.

“Hey, hey, darlin’, let’s not get –“

“ _My_ money, Moxley,” she growled back and pointed a finger at him. “Pants. Now.”

Roxanne raised both of her brows and made a face before sliding off the bed and started putting clothes on and Moxley showed his tongue at Renee like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Roman just raised his brows at Renee again, approvingly. Roxanne got dressed and as she was about to leave, Renee stopped her.

“Listen – he didn’t give you a hard time, did he? Did he do anything that you…weren’t comfortable with?”

Roxanne looked at her with a surprised look and then started laughing, which confused her.

“Honey, I’m comfortable as long as I get paid,” she chuckled, patting her cheek a bit. “But yer a sweetheart for asking, really.” She looked at her up and down, seeing her lip, and glanced at Moxley who was having trouble putting his jeans on. "You’re too good for him, y’know.”

Roxanne’s choice of words brought a nasty lump to her throat but she didn’t let it show.

“Oh no,” Renee said, shaking her head, and Moxley just shot Roxanne a look while he was putting his belt on. “I am not his – no.”

“She wishes,” Moxley mumbled and both Roman and Renee shot him a look.

“Oh, this one, then?” Roxanne said and pointed at Roman, looking at him with a raised brow, up and down and smirking, making Roman a little uncomfortable. “Nice catch.”

“No, no, we’re – we’re all just friends,” she mumbled, looking at Moxley with narrowed eyes.

“Uh-huh,” Roxanne let out, not understanding the situation completely, and left the room. It became really quiet for a second as Moxley had just gotten his pants on and he was just standing in the motel room, his hands on his hips, looking around and tapping his foot, with Renee and Roman both crossing their arms like a pair of disapproving parents, eyeing him.

“What?” he let out as he noticed them staring and threw his leather jacket on.

“Where’s your shirt?” Roman asked but Moxley just looked at his bare chest, and shrugged like he couldn't care less (he probably didn't).

“Back at the hotel,” Renee sighed, looking down and Roman looked at her and then shot Moxley a mean look again.

“Oh, c’mooon, big guy – you missed me,” he chuckled and went to put his shoes on. “I mean, without me spicin’ up things once in a while, your life gets pretty boring, right, _daddy_?” With one shoe on, he looked at Roman, whose breathing was starting to get heavier. “How _is_ the family, by the way? The missus and... lil Joelle, right? How much have I missed out? I mean, I don’t even know who the fuck she is.” He pointed at Renee.

“Don’t,” Roman suddenly let out in a low, intimidating voice, which startled Renee a bit, and took a step towards Moxley, clenching his fists together. “Mention. My family. _Ever_ again. You don’t have the right.”

Moxley just looked back at Roman, pursing his lips and cocked his head. Renee looked at the scene, an uneasy thought appearing on her mind. Something had happened before, something bad. She had never seen Roman look at someone like he looked at Moxley, and it almost scared her a little.

“I’m a friend of Dean’s,” she said, changing the subject, and getting Moxley’s attention.

“Ain’t we all,” he smiled at her, mockingly, and turned around to grab the Championship belt he had on the edge of the bed.

“Which means – I care about him,” she continued. “And right now, you are occupying his body like a parasite, so I’m not letting you out of my sight again, Moxley.”

He turned around to say something but Roman snatched the belt from him, making him cry out.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Moxley protested but Roman just handed the belt to Renee, never taking his eyes off Moxley.

“ _You_ didn’t win it,” Roman growled back and Moxley just scoffed.

“Well, from what I hear, neither did your golden boy,” he smirked and Roman clenched his teeth together. “Disqualification is a bitch – much like her.”

Roman took a warning step forward but Renee just rolled her eyes.

“Hey, she didn’t tell me her name, what I’m suppose to call her?!”

“How about you just don’t talk to me _or_ about me?” she said, getting more irritated than angry. “Or better yet, just don’t talk _at all_.”

“Yeah, tough luck, sweet cheeks,” Moxley flashed a fake a smile and looked back at Roman. “So – are you gonna lock me up here or somewhere else until I go nighty night?”

The question confused Renee a bit and she glanced at Roman who still kept looking at Moxley like he was about to punch his teeth in at any given moment.

“That’s how this works, right?” Moxley sighed, sounding annoyed.

“You're damn right,” Roman said sternly and took Moxley by his arm forcefully, pushing him towards the door. “Start walkin’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter, it was so much fun. Well, for ME, anyway - not so much for Renee or Roman. About Dean's "past", it's a mixture of what I know about his indie days and A LOT of artistic freedom, for dramatic effect etc - this is a work of fiction, after all. Everything will be further explained in the next chapter (finally).


	5. Past and present

“We’d been the SHIELD just for a month or so, and went out drinking after a taping of Smackdown, I think. Dean got wasted, big time, even bigger than last night. We still shared a room, me, Dean and Seth at the time – yeah, I know. I don’t think we had to anymore but we just did. Anyway, I sleep on the couch myself and I wake up to this loud music blasting through my ears and…a woman, making noises. And I look around and… there he was, having sex with a complete stranger in our hotel room bed so I’m pretty freaked out. And Seth, well, he’s known Dean longer than me and he even he’s confused. Finally, when the situation kind of toned down, Dean tells us he ain’t Dean and his name is Jon Moxley. Now, Seth, he’s heard that name before and he explains me about Dean’s old alias but… we were as confused as you are. Jon Moxley had been a name, nothing more but this… other persona has named _himself_ Moxley. And he… he ain’t human, Renee. He doesn’t have any impulse control, no empathy and… _none_ of Dean’s memories, as far as I know – and vice versa. The only time Moxley ever emerges is when Dean’s had a rough night of drinking, and wakes up the next morning as Moxley. And when he eventually falls asleep again –”

“He wakes up as Dean,” Renee completed the sentence, as she and Roman were sitting in the hotel lobby, having coffee. They had a quiet table at the corner, in the shadows, trying to avoid everyone they knew where also staying at the hotel – and possibly anyone from the Authority catching them talking to each other. Getting a half-naked Moxley upstairs without being seen had been the hardest part, however, but it had been relatively easy to get him to stay inside her hotel room – all they had to do was give him the WWE World Heavyweight Championship back. Not that either Renee or Roman trusted Moxley to stay put, so they had handcuffed him in the room (the handcuffs came from Moxley – she didn’t ask), since the door couldn’t be locked from the outside. It wasn’t a great solution to a huge problem but it was good enough for now.

“What is that, a medical condition?” she said in disbelief at the whole situation. She had no reason to think Roman was lying to her but it all just felt unreal.

“A concussion,” he explained with a deep sigh. “The reason why Dean dropped the name Moxley, and all the crazy things he did, was because… It actually did almost kill ‘im. A big hit in the back of his head. It’s a miracle he’s still walkin’ about, or wrestling, for that matter – but his psyche got the biggest hit. It’s split, in a way, but it’s nothing medication can fix.”

Renee kept looking at her black cup of coffee, holding it tightly in her hands though the surface was still hot. It brought some kind of comfort to feel the heat on her fingertips, as she struggled to find the correct words to react to Roman’s.

“They call it ‘an episode’ but it’s… it’s more than, it’s insane.”

“Ok, so,” she finally said, collecting her thoughts. “Dean knows about Moxley?”

Roman went silent for a moment and she shot her eyes at him.

“Not exactly,” Roman finally said, uneasy. “He knows he has missed days because of the condition but as far as he’s concerned, he’s just blacked out.”

Renee stared at Roman in disbelief.

“Wh – wait, _no one_ has told him?” she let out, trying to control the volume in her voice though she felt like raging at this point. “Ho – How is that even possible?!”

Roman shushed her a bit and looked around carefully, as Renee just let out a sharp breath, frustrated.

“He wouldn’t,” Roman began but just shook his head before looking down in defeat. “He wouldn’t forgive me if I told you.”

“Roman – _please_.”

He still hesitated for a good minute before closing his eyes and taking a final, deep breath, but plain refused to look her straight in the eyes.

“Dean… Dean has a much darker past than he lets on. It’s something he doesn’t talk about, ever. Even I don’t know most of the details… but he told me he did things under Moxley’s name, and I ain’t talkin’ about just wrestling in shady matches, he – he did some bad things to a lot people. Things he remembers, and things he has to live with.”

_John Moxley was a monster_ , Dean’s words from last night echoed in her ears. _And he did things only monsters…_

Things that only monsters do. Renee didn’t even notice she was licking her still swollen lip again.

“So… I think… _that’s_ Moxley,” Roman said, almost whispering now. “It’s _that_ side of Dean that he doesn’t talk about, the side that he keeps hidden and when he’s most vulnerable and has no control over himself – that side takes over. Moxley takes over, and he’s dangerous.”

“Which is exactly why Dean should know about him,” Renee still insisted. She had listened to every single word Roman had said but couldn’t get over the fact that Dean himself had _no idea_ about Moxley. It was _his_ body Moxley was shamelessly using to do and say whatever he wanted. Roman just sighed at her blaming gaze (which she didn’t mean to do, but was too fed upwith everything and too tired to hold back her feelings).

“I’m sorry but who are we to keep something like this from him?”

“S’not that simple.”

“He _deserves_ to know,” she stated firmly, crossing her arms. “It’s the least we can do, Roman. So he’ll know something like this can happen.”

“And what good is that to ‘im?” he suddenly let out in frustration and leaned in closer. “If he can’t control it – I – I can’t do that to ‘im, Renee. He already blames himself for so many things, I don’t know –“

He paused for a good while and put a hand over his mouth, his chest rising rapidly.

“I don’t know if he could live with himself if he knew what he’s capable of.”

“But it’s not him,” Renee argued. “It’s Moxley.”

“Moxley _is_ a part of Dean, whether any of us likes it or not.”

“You can’t think like –“

“Do you really believe he wouldn’t blame himself for Moxley?” he suddenly said, getting even more heated. “That he wouldn’t blame himself for what Moxley’s done – what he _almost_ did to you?”

The question shook her a little as Roman kept staring at her intensively. Renee swallowed hard and felt a crushing feeling in her chest. She knew he was right, she really did – Dean would without a doubt blame himself… but not telling him about it just felt wrong.

“But… he stopped,” Renee sighed, trying to gather her thoughts. She didn’t want to remember but she had to to get her point across to Roman. “I told him to stop, and he did. And it wasn’t me alone, I think… Somewhere, deep inside, Dean was there with me, I know it. He wouldn’t let Moxley do something like that.”

Roman looked at her, swallowing, and shook his head a bit, running his fingers through his thick, black hair. He was furiously thinking about something, Renee could see it and it puzzled her. They were quiet for a long time before Roman finally voiced his thoughts.

“He still did that,” he pointed to her lip and Renee felt that lump on her throat again. “I can’t blame you for believing Dean’s somewhat aware what Moxley’s doing but I don’t get to believe that, not anymore.”

There it was again – that same look Renee had seen on the big Samoan’s face back at the motel – when Moxley had mentioned his family.

“Look, Renee – I’m gonna be completely honest with you,” he sighed before she could say anything. “Moxley doesn’t listen to anyone. But you’re right, he listened to you, I saw it at the motel, too. The only other person I’ve seen have that affect on ‘im… was Seth.”

Renee tightened her grip on her coffee cup and moved uneasily on her chair.

“What…” she breathed out. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

“I – I don’t know, I just…” Roman shrugged nervously. “It’s just something I noticed. Moxley only listens to _me_ when I threaten to knock his teeth in or physically drag him where I want ‘im, but both you and Seth, you… you have an impact on him, I don’t know.”

Roman suddenly went quiet and closed his eyes, hanging his head a bit. Renee started thinking about all the times Seth was running his mouth last year, right after he sold out Dean and Roman. Telling everyone how he was the only one who knew how to “control” Dean… Suddenly, what had seemed like just ramblings and egoistical boosts of self-confidence, seemed to have a lot more meaning. If Seth knew about Moxley –

“The cinderblocks,” she breathed out, in shock and Roman looked up at her. “Last year, when Seth put his head through cinderblocks, he – he _knew_ about Moxley, about the back of Dean’s head.” She felt familiar rage bubbling inside of her. “He targeted it on purpose, that _asshole_!”

“Yeah, I think we’ve established that Seth’s a complete ass,” Roman almost laughed out, in admiration, seeing Renee get heated up like that. She usually kept her cool, and at the time, hadn’t been this close to Dean – but now, thinking back, what Seth did made her furious.

“He was off the radar for over a month,” Renee suddenly thought out loud and looked at Roman. On that night, Dean had passed out after what Seth and Kane put him through, and the next thing she knows, they say he refused medical care and disappeared into the night without a trace. “You don’t think…?”

Roman was quiet for just a second but it was enough for Renee to see the thoughts running wild in his head.

“I – I don’t know,” Roman said, lowering his gaze. “Don’t know where he was.”

He was lying.

“Look, Renee,” Roman said, changing the subject. She wanted to ask about it, but by the looks of it, there was a reason why he didn’t want to get into it. “We’re special. That man doesn’t trust anyone, but he trusts us. He trusts you. We’re the only people he’s got and it’s our job to keep him safe – even from himself.”

“No,” she said, making him furrow his brows. “Our ‘job’ is to trust him as much as he trusts us. We have to come clean. You say you can’t do that to him – well, I don’t know if I can look at him again if I don’t.”

The words were coming out of her mouth with certainty but she was faking most of that confidence. Roman could see it too, she knew. Her wrists could be bruised for days, probably her hips, too. She couldn’t possibly hide the state of her lip with all the make-up in the world. The marks left on her body by Moxley were very much visible, and wouldn’t go away overnight. Dean would see them, amongst everyone else. He wouldn’t know the truth – but what if he did? Roman could be right, in her heart Renee knew that. Telling the truth could do more damage than help. But if Dean didn’t know, how could she explain why she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore and smile at him like she had just yesterday? She couldn’t just ignore nor forget everything. Not only that, but Dean deserved to know. He wasn’t some fragile child unable to make decision about his own life and Renee refused to treat him as such.

“You’re right,” Roman finally breathed out, heavily and lowered his shoulders. “I know you’re right, I just…”

Roman swallowed hard and Renee saw the worry behind his eyes. She knew how much Dean meant to Roman and vice versa. Neither could stand the thought of loosing each other, especially after what Seth did.

“He’ll understand.”

“No, no, he won’t, not when he knows the _whole_ truth,” Roman anxiously let out. “That _I_ wanted to tell ‘im but Seth…”

It all started to make sense, suddenly. Of course Seth didn’t want Dean to know about Moxley, so he’d have leverage over his “brother”, even if Dean didn’t know about. Seth still had that leverage.

“All the more reason for him to know,” Renee said in a re-assuring tone and took Roman’s hand. He squeezed hers gently.

“I gotta say, after Seth sold out, I was worried for Dean, real worried,” Roman said, finding comfort in holding Renee’s hand. “How he’d deal with things but – in a way, he’s been a lot better ever since, especially after he came back last year. I think it has something to do with Dean acting out so Moxley doesn’t have to, y’know?”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Renee said in thought but Roman just smiled at her a little.

“I think you’ve had something to do with it, too.”

She looked at him, confused and Roman just couldn’t hold his smile.

“Well, since you’ve been friends, he’s been more…comfortable with himself,” Roman said, more gently. “I don’t know how that’s connected to this, exactly, I mean – it’s not the alcohol alone, it’s gotta be a mental thing, too, what makes Moxley come out… But I think with Dean having people in his life he can trust, like you and I… It helps him to be more at peace with himself, in a way. Even with the bad things.”

Renee wanted to smile at the thought but just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She looked down, swallowing, and felt a weird rush of guilt run through her.

“So why now?” she let out, quietly. “Why is this happening now?”

They looked at each other but neither had an answer.

“I don’t know,” Roman admitted and let go of Renee’s hand. “But it’ll all be over the second Moxley falls asleep.”

“How long does that usually take?”

“Well… One time he was up for 3 days straight.”

Renee shot him a worried look but Roman was quick to elaborate. “But it was in Vegas and I’m pretty sure he was on some kind of drug the whole time.”

“Did you have a show in Vegas or…”

“Nope.”

“Oh.”

“Dean had a plan for tonight, y’know.” Roman smiled a little – it felt like ages since she’d seen that – and Renee raised a brow at him.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, he was gonna show up on Raw, throw the Championship at Seth’s face and then run away with it again,” he chuckled. “Said he wanted to relieve the thrill of watching Seth loose it – _and_ the title.”

Renee laughed out loud only a little, shaking her head. It felt surreal that the last time she’d done that was just last night. It had been a long day already, and it wasn’t over yet. _She_ was still suppose to be on Raw, and couldn’t exactly call in sick – what would she say, anyway? A hungover was out of the question, Renee Young was a professional, after all. And maybe being at work would be the perfect way to clear her head a bit.

“Let me guess: he didn’t plan any further than that?” she asked, still smiling faintly.

“Nope,” Roman confirmed her doubts and Renee just nodded to herself in thought. “I didn’t wanna put ‘im down last night with the reality of it all. Officially, Seth is still the Champ.”

“Yeah, he is,” Renee mused to herself and furrowed her brows.

“But anyway,” Roman breathed in. “Seeing as Moxley isn’t exactly sleepy, I doubt Dean gets to stick it up to Seth tonight.”

“Not first-hand, no,” Renee tapped her chin in thought and flashed a small, mischievous grin at Roman who cocked a brow at her. She leaned in and said in a more quiet tone, with a hint of cunning in her voice: “I think I have an idea.”

“Talk to me.”

“But… you’d be the one taking the biggest risk.”

“I don’t care,” Roman said without a pause which took Renee by surprise a bit. “He’d do the same for me… and to be honest, I owe him that much.”

She nodded with a smile. Dean was going to thank them both for this.

_If he gets the chance._

Renee shut off the horrible thought and shared her plan with Roman. It had more than one combustible element – one being that neither of them could stay and babysit Moxley for the night… but that was something Moxley didn’t have to know. Roman was hesitant to leave him on his own at the hotel, even with handcuffs on, but the reality was both of them had to make an appearance on Raw tonight.

“So – we’ll tell ‘im tomorrow?” Roman asked as they waited for the elevator in the lobby to go check on Moxley. He insisted she didn’t have to come but Renee was as stubborn as they came.

“Whenever Dean comes back,” she said, smiling faintly. Roman noticed her licking her lip again.

“He _will_ come back, Renee,” he said and put a hand on her shoulder briefly for comfort but looked like he was lost in thought himself. “He always comes back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had a little less action and more explaining but then again, there's a lot to explain. Even more angst to come, but on a lighter note, hopefully, as we go into Raw.


	6. Raw is Ambrose

_So_ Renee’s plan hadn’t exactly gone as well as it could have. She had suspected the Authority might put Roman in a tight spot tonight – but three tight spots on the same night, with three very dangerous individuals… She felt bad, really bad, that he was the one taking all the blame. She couldn’t take her eyes off the screen backstage during Roman’s matches, and sighed with relief when he pinned Barrett. During his match with Mark Henry, Renee was sure she was visibly sweating through her dress and almost let out a huge scream when Henry got counted out – she knew for sure Roman couldn’t have gotten a pin on him, not in the shape he was in. So when Triple H announced Roman would be facing yet another opponent, and that it was none other than Bray Wyatt, Renee threw all caution to the wind and went to look for Roman only 10 minutes before his match. He couldn’t go through with it, not in the shape he was in and Wyatt was as vicious as they came.

As she was searching for him backstage, Renee suddenly realized she had never been this involved with any of the wrestlers before. Sure, she had been felt sorry for anyone who she actually liked when they lost, and congratulated when they won – but she had never been this visibly anxious during anyone’s match. She was a professional, after all (had been before today, anyway) and couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had noticed the change in her behavior.

“Roman?” Renee called out quietly near the locker room area, looking around to check if anyone on the Authority was in a look out. She could always use the good old “nosy backstage interviewer” role to her advantage. She was just about to knock on a door when she heard another open on the other end of the hallway, which startled her a bit, and she quickly turned her head to see who it was. Renee felt her heart jump to her throat as she couldn’t mistake that mess of a hair for anyone else. The WWE World Heavyweight title in hand, the man in a leather jacket and jeans rushed away from Renee, towards the arena. He hadn’t seen her.

Renee stood still, staring after him and felt that all-too-familiar lump in her throat. She had _no idea_ if the man about to go on air on Raw was Dean or Moxley. After a few seconds that felt like hours, she was just about to call him out and run after him when she heard someone approaching from the other direction.

“I don’t know how Henry got himself counted out but that better not happen again!” she heard a familiar, angry voice rant and quickly pulled out her smartphone, pretending to talk into it while standing near a wall. None other than Seth Rollins appeared behind a corner, shaking with rage, with Joey Mercury, Jamie Noble and Kane on his tail, as always. He barely noticed Renee as he kept yelling through his teeth:

“I want every single one of you out there tonight – if Ambrose really isn’t man enough to face me tonight, I wanna send him a clear message on what happens when you mess with Seth freakin’ Rollins!”

Renee resisted the urge to roll her eyes and pretended not to listen. As the group of suits passed her, Seth gave her a distasteful side eye, as if to say ‘ _what are you looking at?_ ’ while apparently not noticing the poor state of her lip, which she had managed to cover well enough. Kane, however, did and stopped to take a longer look at her.

“What happened?” he asked, pointing at her lip, as if to care. Renee still didn’t know if Kane was actually concerned about the well-being of the employees at WWE or if he just cared about the image of the company – she was an on-camera personality, after all.

“Tripped in the shower this morning,” she told him the same lie she had told anyone who had asked, with a small, convincing laugh, and smiled as if to thank him for asking while returning to her fake phone call. Kane just gave her a raised brow with a nod and caught up to Seth and his bodyguards.

“I mean, how _stupid_ do they think I am, huh?!” she heard Seth continue ranting. “A laddermatch?! Do they really think I’d believe that they came up with that all by themselves?!”

Renee’s whole body suddenly tensed up.

“I’m telling you, someone back here is in on this – I don’t care who it is but I’m gonna make him pay!“  _Or her_ , Renee gulped and was afraid to move an inch not to appear suspicious, even though rationally she knew none of them would even notice.

“Just like I’m gonna make Reigns pay tonight.”

“Boss – whoever it is, it ain’t none of us, I swear,” she heard Jamie Noble stutter in his thick accent.

“Of _course_ it’s not you, you idiot!” Seth barked right back. “You couldn’t even find Wyatt like I told you to!”

“Well, boss – he ain’t exactly an easy man to look for,” Noble sighed. “You never see ‘im, he just – appears outta thin air when you least expect ‘im. Reminds me of my cousin Jack, he –“

“Is your cousin having a match with Roman Reigns in 5 minutes, Jamie?!” Seth gnarled at him and Renee felt a bit sorry for the small man. Authority or not, he was just doing his job. She could understand that to an extent. Jamie didn’t answer, so Renee assumed he just shook his head, defeated. But she heard no steps taken, either – they must have stopped for whatever reason. Renee turned her head just enough to see them and realized the reason for the silence – right next to Seth there was an all-too-recognizable ominous bearded man in a fedora and a Hawaiian shirt. _Appeared out of thin air._ Renee was certain the way he dressed wasn’t simply a choice of style as it somehow made Bray Wyatt seem even more eerie. She saw him mumble something to Seth and his minions, while smiling wickedly but couldn’t make up any words… though she had no desire to get any closer.

Renee was just about to walk away to the opposite direction as casually as possible, when Wyatt suddenly looked straight at her, not smiling anymore. She quickly turned her head away and breathed in, not even daring to check if he was still looking. She started walking away, saying random words to her phone as her heart pounded in her chest. She had always thought Wyatt was creepy but there had been something in his eyes this time, something different. As if he _knew_. Maybe that was just another mind-trick he liked to play with people, pretending he knew everything about them with just one look. Well, it worked.

Suddenly Renee recalled who she had seen just moments before the interruption by Seth and Wyatt – and what Seth had said about a third person working with Dean and Roman. She sighed loudly and looked at the ceiling. Roman was her friend, sort of – at least after today they were closer than ever. And Dean… Dean was something else. But by God, she loved her job, and she was in a good position with the Authority. Things were good for her… but the reality was, she couldn’t lie to herself, not anymore. She was already in it too deep for that.

Publicly aligning herself with Dean or Roman for that matter would be a career suicide – and what good would that do to anyone? But she wasn’t sure if she wanted to become a full-time “double agent”, either, as one night already felt overwhelming.

 _Scratch that_ , Renee thought to herself. Things were not good anymore – they had become very, _very_ difficult and confusing in just under 24 hours.

 

* * *

 

Falling on the ground holding his sides, Roman felt the familiar taste of blood in his mouth. There was a ringing sound in his ears, and the big man had trouble standing up, his world was spinning. He thought he heard the announcer call out his name, saying he pinned Wyatt after that one last spear. He knew it was a damn miracle, and this night had been one of the toughest ones of his life.

Roman heard the referee come and check on him but the minute he managed to sit down and raise his head, he saw four new but all-too-familiar problems staring right at him on the ropes at every side of the ring. Seth was on his left, glaring at him under his brows with a hungry look in his eyes. Roman’s treacherous little brother (because he did still consider Seth a brother, always – which didn’t mean they had to get along or even like each other) glanced at Kane, Noble and Mercury, all surrounding Roman and ready to enter the ring – no doubt to give him a punishment for going through all three trials tonight. Still on the ground, he breathed heavily and his whole body ached. Realistically Roman knew he couldn’t fight them all off by himself but that was exactly what he was right now – alone. One against all. Luckily this wouldn’t be the first unfear beating he’d be taking, and it was for Dean.

 _He’d do the same me_ , Roman thought to himself and knew that it was true. _In a heartbeat._

Roman saw Seth nod to the rest of the Authority and prepared himself for more pain to come – when suddenly a loud guitar riff went off and the crowd went wild. Roman’s eyes widened and the whole world seemed to clear up as he scrambled on his knees as quickly as he could, staring at the ramp. Seth had jumped off the ropes and ran to the end of it, waiting for Dean to walk out, still screaming orders at his minions.

Suddenly Roman saw something in the corner of his eye. On the announcers’ table, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in hand. _He_ stood there and called Seth’s name, telling him to come and get his title. Roman had to lock eyes with him only once to know who he was looking at and a wide smile appeared on his lips. He was back.

_Dean always comes back._

With his brother on Roman’s side, they fought off Seth and the Authority just enough to buy time to take off again, just like last night. As they stood amongst the audience, with Dean throwing up the Championship at Seth again, Roman couldn’t help but laugh through the pain he was still in.

They excited the arena as quickly as they could, and Roman just kept staring at Dean while he was busy still laughing about the looks on the Authority’s faces. It was Dean, there was no doubt it – yet he couldn’t let go of that troubling feeling in his chest. He looked like his brother, talked like his brother – and turned his blue eyes at Roman like his brother, smiled at him like his brother. And noticed immediately something was bothering Roman, like a brother would.

“You ok?” Dean asked as they walked in the back of the AT&T Center, ready to head out.

“Yeah, yeah, just a lil out of breath,” Roman laughed, brushing the feeling of doubt off – Moxley was gone, end of story. This was Dean in front of him, this was the real deal, no doubt about it. “I mean, I did just have 3 matches with 3 mean sons-of-bitches back to back.”

“And you beat every! Single! One of ‘em, bro!” Dean said, punching Roman in the chest playfully with each word but as the big Samoan grimaced at the impact, Dean made a face and raised his hands. “Sorry.”

“S’ok,” Roman chuckled and stretched his shoulder a bit, still feeling the effects of the beatings he took. “Thanks for having my back out there.”

“Hey, you’re the one who got me a rematch,” Dean shrugged. “The least I could do. I would’ve showed up earlier, but I only woke up like, an hour ago, maybe? You wouldn’t believe the hangover I have right now…”

“I can imagine,” Roman mumbled under his breath, raising his brows. He looked at Dean, who was admiring the Championship – how happy he was. Now was not a good time – and he had agreed with Renee that they’d tell Dean together… But Moxley actually falling asleep so that Dean could be on Raw was something neither of them had even considered. Roman knew Renee wanted to be there to tell Dean because she felt responsible, like it was her fault that Moxley had come out and wouldn’t stop believing it no matter what Roman said.  _As soon as Dean wakes up_ , they had nodded in unison. He was awake, and now was as good as time as any to deliver the worst news Roman had told Dean. They hadn’t still left the building, and if he could contact Renee in time…

“Look, Dean,” Roman said and stopped, with Dean turning to look at him with raised brows. “There’s something I gotta talk to you about.”

“Sure,” Dean laughed. “But shouldn’t we get goin’ first, there’s probably like a dozen security guards after us right now?”

Dean’s smile soon toned down as he saw the distraught in Roman’s features, how visibly upset he was. Roman sighed loudly, and put his hands on his waist, hanging his head a bit.

“Something happened earlier and –“

“Moxley, right?” Dean suddenly dropped a bomb, his voice stern, taking Roman completely off guard. “He came out again?”

 _Renee already told him_. The last time Roman had seen the woman had been at the hotel, since they agreed it would be safer to come to the the AT &T Center separately to avoid suspicion. Dean looked uneasy with Roman’s reaction, and sighed deeply, his smile completely disappearing. He swallowed hard and just rubbed his scruffy jaw a bit.

“Yeah... I know about ‘im,” he sighed quietly, sounding almost ashamed. “I’ve, uh… I’ve known for a while now.”

Roman’s mouth hung slightly open as he stared Dean in disbelief. Dean bit his lip, nodding and looked away.

“How long?” Roman let out through his teeth, sounding angrier than he was. Dean just shook his head a little and let out an anxious laugh – and Roman knew exactly what he meant by that. He knew _exactly_ how long. The big Samoan sighed, putting hands on his waist and looking down a bit, clenching his teeth together.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you?” Dean threw the argument back at Roman who didn’t answer. He didn’t have to.

 

* * *

 

“Dammit, Roman!” Renee cursed under her breath as she tried calling the Samoan man for the fifth time already. She understood that he and (the person who she hoped to be) Dean had to flee from the scene as quickly as last night, but he couldn’t have been that busy not to at least text her if they were alright – if _he_ was alright. There was also the matter of Roman and Renee agreeing that they’d tell break the news to Dean together to soften the blow, and Renee was _not_ going to let Roman go about it all by himself. Besides, she wanted to talk to Dean before he knew. Before everything would be changed, forever.

Raw had gone off-air about 15 minutes ago. She was still backstage at the AT&T Center, just about to head out herself after “an exhausting day of work”, so to speak, and still dialing Roman’s number for the sixth time. And still, no answer.

“ _C’moon_ , you –“

“Headed out?”

Renee turned her head, jumping a little at whoever at crept up on her – and felt her breath catch up to her a bit.

“Wow, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare ya,” Seth Rollins laughed out loud a bit, raising his hands. He was still wearing his wrestling gear with an open hoodie on top, and his smile was unsettling. It was too wide, too happy for someone who had just gotten “his” title taken from him too nights in a row – especially if that someone was Seth Rollins.

“N-no, it’s ok,” Renee stuttered out, laughing a bit herself, as if nothing was wrong, though her gut told her otherwise. “Yeah, I’m gonna call it a night.”

“Already?” he asked, crossing his arms and cocked his head. Still smiling.

“It’s been a long day,” she said.

“Tell me about it!” he chuckled, nodding his head with an almost manic look in his eyes. Renee just smiled at him, not taking her eyes off of him, but inside she was starting to panic. A small moment of silence fell between the two as Seth just kept staring at her, and she kept staring back, both smiling. Renee more awkwardly for sure.

“Well, don’t let me keep you,” Seth finally said, breaking the silence and reached out to pat her arm, almost making Renee flinch away but she just smiled it off and nodded at him. She was just about to turn around and take her leave as quick as possible, because she did feel like she was getting tested somehow.

“Sorry for tonight,” she suddenly said before leaving, taking him off guard a bit. “And yesterday. I mean, for what happened, Ambrose stealing your title.”

She knew she touched a nerve there because Seth’s smile disappeared almost completely for a moment, and his laugh got a lot more tense.

“Well, I uh – I appreciate it, Renee,” he said and suddenly took a step forward, leaning in. She wanted to take a step away but stood her ground.

“And don’t worry,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder with a grip that was just a little too tight to be casual, which alarmed her even more. “Ambrose will get what’s coming to him. As will anyone who’s involved with him.”

 _He knows_ , Renee’s mind screamed but she knew she was wrong. No, he doesn’t know but he _suspects_. And he was being painfully obvious about it, too. Renee wasn’t sure if he was trying to make her (potentially) confess or give her a warning to not to get involved. There had been a time, once, when Seth had actually been a pretty fair and decent guy, and a nice person to talk to once in a while. That part of him seemed to gradually disappear the higher he got on the food chain at WWE, and he had become an absolute pain to interact with ever since Wrestlemania. So somehow Renee found it hard to believe Seth would actually be “fair” enough to give her a chance to walk away if he was already suspecting her of helping Dean.

“You mean like Reigns did tonight?” Renee suddenly asked, continuing the conversation and Seth backed away, cocking his head a bit.

“Exactly,” he said with a smile and crossed his arms.. “But _that_ … That is because he decided to publicly help his buddy Ambrose – so showing up here tonight, he was the only one to blame, right? And I think that makes him really, _really_ stupid, don’t you think?”

“That makes him loyal,” Renee blurted out half-accidentally and made Seth narrow his eyes. “In his mind, anyway. He was ready to take the bullet for Ambrose.”

 “Because he thinks Ambrose would do the same for him, right?” Seth said, and laughed. “Lemme tell you something about Dean Ambrose, sweetheart.” He leaned in again and pointed a finger at himself. “I know Dean Ambrose – and he would _not_ do the same for Reigns.”

“Not even in the SHIELD?” Renee raised a brow, and only after saying what she said wondered if it was wise to bring out the former faction between the three men – but Seth didn’t seem triggered by it in any way, he just shook his head.

“Oh, Renee,” he chuckled. “ _None_ of us never took a bullet for one another – we did it for _the team_ , as a unit. But now, it’s every man for himself, and Dean knows it too. And deep down, inside…” He suddenly lowered his voice and looked straight at her intensively, as if to make his point (whatever it was) more clear.

“Unlike Roman, he’s just like me,” he said with a sinister smile, making Renee furrow her brows a bit. “Willing to do whatever it takes – and use _whoever_ it takes – to get what he wants.”

He kept a small pause and just kept looking at her – no doubt to study her reaction. And Renee was reacting, but refused to show it. Suddenly Seth's gaze switched from her eyes to her mouth only momentarily but long enough to Renee to notice, and his smile toned down too. He looked back at her eyes but stayed silent and so did she. Expecting Seth to say something about her lip, Renee was a little surprised when he just backed away and smiled, taking steps back.

“That’s all there is to know about Dean Ambrose, Renee,” Seth mused and raised his hands a bit, slapping them together. “Well – Goodnight. See you tomorrow!”

He turned to leave and walked away with a small sway and looked back to give her a small wave. She returned the favor with a simple hand raise and just a small smile that dropped the minute he turned his back at her again. She was still holding her phone tight and looked at it to see a text from Roman.

_It’s Dean, he’s ok. We had to take off, call you later._

In that moment, Renee realized she didn’t feel any better now that Moxley was gone, as she naïvely had thought she would. Even worse – she wasn’t sure what to feel anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The age old "excuse" for not updating in a looong while: I've been very busy with school and other stuff right now. But this fic is not done, and there will still be a couple of chapters, depending on how long I want them to be. (I am also considering on writing a sequel that would really re-write what's currently happening at wwe because let's face it, the ratings are down for a reason... but we'll cross that bridge when we get there!)


	7. Talking things out

Roman didn’t want to keep Renee in the dark, but he didn’t even know where to begin – so when he checked his phone and 6 missed phone calls from Renee, (because of course Dean appearing on Raw didn’t go unnoticed by her or anyone for that matter), he just send her a quick text:

_It’s Dean, he’s ok. We had to take off -_

He paused for a bit, thinking what to write. Roman didn’t want to lie to her but he didn’t even know the whole truth himself yet. Dean had known about Moxley for the better part of a year but Roman had no idea if he _remembered_ … or if he knew about Renee being involved as well.

 _– call you later_ , was all he could muster up and put his phone away. He was sitting in a small San Antonio bar with Dean, who insisted on carrying the Championship belt with him everywhere he went, even if it meant getting caught with it – social media was a dangerous place, especially if you were trying to stay out of sight. So far everyone had left them in piece, minus a couple of fans wanting a picture on the street just after Raw. Roman took another sip of his beer as they sat in silence, had been for a good ten minutes by now and ever since leaving the AT&T Center. It seemed neither of them didn’t really know where to begin.

“D’you,” the big Samoan finally said with a sigh but was struggling with words. Dean didn’t even look at him as he spoke. “D’you remember what happened today?”

Dean took a quick sip of his beer.

“No.”

“What about before?”

Dean clenched his jaw and was clearly getting a little anxious. He tapped an unstable rhythm on the wooden table with his index finger and tightened his grip on his beer bottle.

“I… I don’t remember,” he said quietly. “I never do. But I… I’ve had… I get these dreams, I guess. Or nightmares. But they… they feel more real than that, I – I dunno, man....”

They fell silent again as Dean struggled to find the right words to explain his situation to Roman, and Roman – Roman just didn’t know what to say. Or he did, but was too afraid to break the silence. The question was eating him alive, even though he knew knowing the truth could hurt even more. Still, he couldn’t live himself without knowing for sure.

“Look, Ro –“

“Were you at my house 2 weeks after Summerslam last year, Dean?” Roman suddenly let the cat out of the bag and looked straight at Dean who still refused to look back. “I know _he_ was – but were you?”

Dean didn’t answer, but slowly raised his eyes at Roman, who felt a lump in his throat at Dean’s gaze. He knew _exactly_ what Roman was talking about, just like Roman had feared he would.

“I’m not blaming you,” he quickly reassured Dean, who just suddenly laughed out loud and run his fingers on his face. “I know you weren’t in control.”

“Well, I’d blame myself,” he mumbled and looked up to the ceiling. “But the thing is – I _wasn’t_ there, Ro. I swear.”

“Then how d’you remember?”

“ _I don’t_ ,” Dean insisted but ended up just sighing and letting his head fall down instead of explaining what he meant. He cocked his head a little, suddenly, and shook it around. Roman had gotten used to those physical impulses Dean sometimes had, but they were rare, and had gotten even more rare lately. He only did it when he was really frustrated, and often let out steam in the ring by doing so.

“He told me,” Dean finally let out. Roman furrowed his brows in confusion and Dean just sighed, trying to collect his thoughts. “I uh… _I_ woke up 3 weeks after, in this little border town in Mexico, in a motel. And there was a phone on the bed, wasn’t mine. There was a uh, a video message in it. He left it… for me. Mox –”

Dean struggled to say his name and made a face, as if there was a bad taste in his mouth.

“ _Moxley_ filmed himself, tellin’ me all about who he was – and _what_ he was.”

It suddenly dawned on Roman that Dean had consciously lived with Moxley for almost 9 months. For almost a year Roman had no idea he had. He wanted to be angry at Dean, but the reality was, Dean had more reason to be angry at Roman. He had been lying to Dean for over 3 years, and kept Moxley a secret even after Seth had betrayed them.

“Suddenly it all made sense, y’know,” Dean laughed out loud, his eyes getting glassy again. “The blackouts, the dreams – and Seth, that _lying, back-stabbing_ , son-of-a- _bitch_ targeting my head and _using_ me, using _Moxley_ – “ Dean stopped himself, gritting his teeth and clenching his fist together, no doubt imagining Seth’s face between his fingers. No wonder he had been so hell-bent to get his hands on Seth after he had come back. Dean calmed down a bit and looked back at Roman, shaking his head. He looked like he was about to break his bottle by the way he holding it.

“Look, I’m – I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I knew… but…”

“You were angry,” Roman sighed, feeling guilty. Dean had every right to be.

“I was fucking pissed, bro!” Dean let out as an angry laugh. “You knew for _years_ and you didn’t tell me!"

“Dean –“

“No, lemme – lemme finish, aight?” he said, suddenly a lot more serious. “I get it. I’m not the easiest person to the hang of. You never know how I’m gonna react, what I’m gonna do – hell, _I_ don’t even know what I’m gonna do, take tonight as a shining example of that.” He took a quick sip of his beer and let his shoulders drop with a huge sigh, still clearly angry. “So I get it. You didn’t think I could take the volume being turned up a little.”

Roman opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

“Hey, I probably wouldn’t have told myself either,” Dean let out in a huff but suddenly furrowed his brows in thought. “Except that I kinda did. Huh.”

“No, you didn’t,” Roman quickly said and Dean avoided his gaze. He disagreed. Of course he did.

“Anyway,” Dean said, ignoring Roman’s words. “There’s not a lotta things I’m sure ‘bout in life, but one of ‘em is that I can trust my brother. And I still do, ‘k? ‘Cause you were only looking out for me, I get it.” He looked at Roman again, his brows furrowed and eyes fixed on him determined.

“But the thing is – Moxley isn’t your burden to bear,” he said, emphasizing every word. “He’s _mine_. He’s _my_ responsibility and you should’ve just let me handle ‘im.”

Roman just nodded, looking straight at Dean who leaned in, shifting his gaze from Roman’s eye to the other one. The big Samoan didn’t agree that Dean would have to deal with Moxley on his own but he had a point.

“ _You_ should’ve trusted _me_ ,” Dean said slowly, poking his own chest a few times as if to make his point more clear.

“I do,” Roman said with as much sincerity as he could. “I’d trust you with my life.”

“But you gotta trust me with _my_ life,” Dean insisted and leaned back in his chair again. “I ain’t all that unstable or, or _crazy_ or summin’, aight, that’s just what _they_ like to call anyone who’s a little rough ‘round the edges like me!” Dean took a sip of his beer again and waved a hand around. “Dammit, Ro, you _know_ that,” he sighed. “You know _me_. We should’ve just…”

“I know.”

“We’re _brothers_.”

“I know,” Roman said, clenching his jaws, saying the one thing that he _could_ say, really. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

Silence fell between the two again as they just kept looking at each other. Finally Roman just put a hand on Dean’s shoulder carefully and he took a hold of it, squeezing it a little while nodding. Dean didn’t look at him but he let out a shaky, long breath and a small smile appeared on Roman’s lips.

“Is she,” Dean suddenly let out and Roman’s smile disappeared. “Is she alright?”

“Yeah, she is,” Roman answered after a small pause and meant it as best he could. He didn’t think any of them were alright per se after today but they managed. “How’d you –“

“You left me in her room, dumbass,” Dean raised his brows at Roman, who looked a little ashamed by not realizing. “Wasn’t the first time I’ve woken up in someone else’s hotel room with a huge hangover… but handcuffed and shirtless?”

He paused a bit.

“No, wait, _definitely_ not the first time,” he muttered while his eyes went wide. “Don’t tell ‘er that.”

Roman couldn’t help a small chuckle and Dean smiled a little as well but got serious quickly again, clenching his jaws. Roman knew what he was thinking about.

“Did…” Dean let out but had to take a deep sigh before continuing. “Did he… do anything? To –” His voice was tense, and he couldn’t finish the sentence. Roman opened his mouth to speak but was silent for a long time before answering, which Dean noticed immediately. He hung his head, breathing heavily, and was biting his teeth together with such intensity that Roman was sure he’d break his jaw.

“She wanted to stay, Dean. To help,” Roman finally said, trying to calm Dean down. “Wanted to be there for you when you –“

“That’s _not_ an answer!” Dean suddenly let out, raising his voice and clenched his hands into fists. A few people in the nearby tables looked at them funny, and Roman just gave them a mean side eye to mind their own business. They took the hint (and it’s not like anyone was going to come and say something to two huge men like Roman and Dean!)

“Did he touch her?” he asked, more calmly this time. And more vulnerable. “Did – did _I_ hurt Renee?”

“Dean –“ Roman managed to say out loud before falling silent again. He knew there was no outcome where Dean wouldn’t blame himself – he already did. He could keep repeating “it’s not your fault” and “it wasn’t you” all he’d like but Dean might never believe him… and he couldn’t lie to him anymore, not after today. 

“She doesn’t blame you, Dean,” Roman told him straight up, and made Dean violently shake his head and slam his fist against the table, making his beer bottle fall down. He cursed under his breath and Roman quickly picked the bottle up. Dean suddenly just let out a shaky sigh and buried his face into his hands, making Roman swallow hard.

“What did I do, Ro?”

Roman was about to answer “you didn’t do anything” again but decided otherwise.

“I’m not the person you should be askin’ that.”

Dean lifted his head up but didn’t look at Roman. He just stared at nothing, shaking his head a little.

“I screwed up, Ro,” Dean muttered and suddenly chuckled out of frustration. “I – I _had_ something… Something that I’ve never… Y’know when you’re just – Y-you think you’re never gonna...”

Roman furrowed his brows a bit and leaned closer, scratching his bearded chin a bit, listening, and giving Dean the time he needed to speak and gather his thoughts.

“And then one day,” Dean said and was almost smiling. “One day you just look around – and there she is. Lookin’ right back at ya. And you feel like she’s always been there but you just… you just haven’t been payin’ attention.” He chuckled again and just took a sip of his beer while shaking his head. “‘Cause you’re a goddamn idiot.”

Roman smiled a little, too. He knew exactly what Dean was talking about.

“And after that you just – you can’t look away anymore, no matter how hard you try,” he almost laughed now and Roman couldn’t help but to smile. He had seen the effect Renee had had on Dean, and how the two had looked at each other for a while now but truth to be told, he had no idea…

“You’re really in it for the long haul, aren’t ya?” he asked with a small grin and a raised brow and Dean couldn’t help but laugh out a little.

“I don’t get it, Ro,” he said. “A woman like that… she’s way too good for me.”

Roman sighed a little at his words since he knew for a fact that wasn’t how Renee saw it…

“Doesn’t matter anymore, anyway,” he huffed. “I’ll be lucky if she can ever even look at me again.”

“Dean,” Roman said, getting his attention. “I can’t speak for Renee… but I don’t think that’s the case. She might need time but she stayed for a reason.”

“Yeah, and what’s that?”

“She cares about you.”

“Well, she – she shouldn’t,” he let out, frustrated. “She doesn’t know –“

“You don’t think I tried talkin’ her outta this?” Roman interrupted him, raising his voice a bit and sounding stern, shutting Dean off, which just made him shift uncomfortably in his seat. “She wouldn’t hear it, Dean. That woman is as stubborn as you are! And you _know_ she’s tougher than you’re giving her credit for right now – hell, she was the one who came up with the ladder match, not me!”

Roman’s words seemed to finally register with Dean somewhat as the corner of his mouth twitched upward a little and he finally turned his head a little at Roman’s direction.

“She’s a grown-ass woman, Dean, she knows damn well what she’s doing,” Roman continued. “And… I think you should let ‘er.”

“Do what?”

“Get close,” Roman said. “If she wants to. ‘Cause, man… _you_ want to.”

Dean kept looking away, tapping his foot anxiously. Roman could barely hear him mumble the words that made his blood boil a bit because of Dean’s stubbornness.

“She deserves more than me.“

“Y’know, that’s exactly what I thought about Gal, too,” Roman suddenly said, making Dean silent. “Hell, I still do. But y’know what she did after I told her that? She got angry, put me in my place. Told me I was being too hard on myself, and you know what? I needed that. So that’s what I’m gonna say to you.”

Dean looked at him, swallowing.

“You wanna give her what she deserves?” Roman asked. “Talk to her and tell her the truth.”

“About what?”

“Everything,” Roman said, and sighed a little. “That’s what anyone deserves.”

Dean was silent for a long time before nodding a little and Roman put his hand on his brother’s shoulder again.

“Ro… whatever he Moxley did,” Dean suddenly said. “I’ve done before. A long time ago but it was all me. You know that.”

“Dean –“

“But she doesn’t,” Dean lowered his voice, swallowing hard. He stared at nothing and just shook his head. “She doesn’t have to.”

Roman was just about to say something when his phone went off again. Dean gave him a look and knew from the moment their eyes met who was calling Roman.

 

* * *

 

 

He was standing right behind the door. Renee had heard footsteps approaching, she had been listening. Just in case.

Sitting on the bed, she took a final heavy sigh before standing up. For some reason, no lights were on in the dim hotel room so only the city lights shined in from behind the curtains. Renee had been sitting in the darkness ever since she had returned into the hotel, entered her room and sat on the bed – right after Roman had finally answered her many calls.

_“Is he with you now?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I need talk to him.”_

But not by phone, Renee refused to do things that way. She wanted to see him, even if it wouldn’t feel the same anymore. She _needed_ to see him – see _Dean_. So she had asked Roman to tell Dean she wanted to meet in her hotel room. A conscious choice on her part – she wanted to wash away the bad taste of her surroundings, even though they were leaving for Houston tonight.

Renee approached the door slowly, having doubts with each step but keeping a firm pace. Reaching for the handle, she found her hand resting on the cool surface of the door instead. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly. She swore she could feel his breath on her skin through the door. For several minutes, nothing happened. No one knocking, no one opening the door, no footsteps echoing in the hallway. Renee wasn’t one to hesitate like this, or think as childishly as she did. She knew that by opening that door, she’d have to face things as they were – face him, face their… whatever it was. But it was changed, for good.

The door felt heavier as she remembered, but opened up with ease. The moment she looked into Roman’s eyes instead of Dean’s, Renee felt a wave of frustration – no, anger, course through her veins.

“Renee,” the big Samoan said as he saw Renee’s reaction. “He wanted to come –“

“But he didn’t,” she interrupted him with almost bitter words, and Roman looked around with a sigh, clearly anxious to come in instead of talking in the hallway. Where they could be heard. Renee narrowed her eyes at him but stepped away so he could enter the room, and closed the door behind him. Finding it strange that no lights were on, Roman reached for the light switch but Renee stopped him, making him even more confused – but she refused to give any explanation.

“Where is he?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“I don’t know.”

“And I thought you were done lying to people,” Renee gritted her teeth, sounding more angry that she was.

“I’m not lying, Renee,” he stated slowly, clearly getting a little defensive about her not-so-warm-welcome. “We went our different ways and – and I don’t even think he’s coming to Houston.”

Her face was like stone at his words, but still listening to every single one. Renee felt certain emptiness in her chest, frustration, even. So Dean had left, just like that, and wasn’t gonna show up on Smackdown, after all. Somehow, Renee was actually a bit relieved knowing that she wouldn’t have to face him in public like that, in front of cameras… and certain people.

“You promised me we’d tell him together, Roman,” she said, changing the subject and the Samoan man just sighed.

“I didn’t tell ‘im, Renee.”

Her first thought being that he was lying through his teeth – but she knew Roman’s face when he was lying, and he wasn’t, not this time. Her features suddenly softened, as she let her arms slowly drop to her sides, realizing.

“He already knew,” Roman confirmed her thoughts and she remembered the previous night, when it had all began. When Dean had talked about Jon Moxley to her, remembering his past… Except that he hadn’t been remembering. He had told her about Moxley without her realizing. Confessed to her… or maybe even warned her.

“For how long?” she asked, letting her shield drop down and looking at Roman with concern in her eyes. The question made Roman uncomfortable for some reason.

“Longer than you’d think,” he mumbled, avoiding the question. “The point is – I _am_ done to lying to people I care about, Renee. I was honest with ‘im. He asked about you, I told ‘im the truth.”

Renee almost bit her lip that was still hurting, as she felt that lump in her throat again.

“That’s why he’s not here,” Roman said, sighing, and Renee lowered her eyes, hugging herself a bit. They both knew that Dean would blame himself for everything Moxley had done but somehow, Renee had still hoped… It suddenly dawned on her that not only did Dean, in his mind, think _he_ had hurt Renee – he didn’t want to see her because of that. And that hurt Renee more than any act of physical abuse ever could.

“So, what – he expects me to just… forget about it?” Renee waved her hand around, tears swelling up in her eyes. “Roman, I – I can’t just show up to work one day, see him and – and pretend the past 24 hours didn’t happen!”

As Renee had suspected, Roman had no answer. Dean didn’t either, it seemed. That above all made Renee if not only frustrated but plain angry.

“But I guess I’ll have to,” she gritted through her teeth and sat down to the bed. “It’s not he’s leaving me any choice.”

“Renee –“

“I’m not angry at you, Roman, so if Dean had nothing else to say –“

“Hey!” Roman suddenly raised his voice, making Renee look straight at him with surprise. “This ain’t Dean talkin’, this is me. And I agree with you, Renee.” He looked straight at her with a stern but kind look on his face as he sat down next to her, taking Renee by her shoulder gently. “Believe me when I say that I’m pissed off, too. I can’t pretend none of it didn’t happen, either! _That’s_ why I’m here. Not to speak for Dean, but as _a friend_ , Renee. ‘Cause I wanted to tell you that you ain’t alone with this. And trust me when I say… He’ll come around.”

“Like he always does, right?” Renee let out more bitterly that she had meant. Roman stared straight at her, a look of certainty in his dark brown eyes. Renee only wished could believe him.

“You’re damn right,” Roman let out. “Because he cares about you, Renee.”

“Then why isn’t he here to tell me that?” Renee asked out loud quietly, not expecting an answer, and stood up from the bed, walking a few steps towards the window. “He’s not stupid, he _knows_ that I…” She looked at the big Samoan man over her shoulder. “I want to see him, Roman. I want to talk to him but I… I _need_ to talk to him.” She turned to look outside, again. It was _still_ the first day of June (Renee couldn’t believe her whole life had been turned upside down in just one day) but it didn’t feel like summer was coming any time soon.

“Eventually we’ll have to sort things out and he knows it,” she said. “He’s being childish and unfair to both of us by pretending otherwise.” She knew she was being harsh, given everything that Dean had to deal with… but deliberate or not, she was a part of his life now in a way that couldn’t be undone.

“You don’t have to tell _me_ ‘bout it,” Roman mumbled with a deep sigh as he sat on the bed. Renee turned her head a bit at Roman’s direction, seeing him looking at the ground with his head hanging a bit. Renee knew he wasn’t telling everything, again.

“Roman, whatever happened with Moxley before,” she began and saw Roman visibly tense up. “You don’t have to tell me but… I need to know –”

“I still remember it like it was yesterday,” he suddenly said. “But that’s – that’s nothing, the worst part is I know I can _never_ look at my brother the same way again – and he knows it, too. And blames himself for everything.”

Renee wanted to move and sit next to Roman as the big man looked like he could use someone next to him but her feet wouldn’t do as they were told.

“He won’t listen to reason,” Roman said quietly. “He’ll isolate himself and take all that frustration on whoever’s stupid enough to piss him off. Seth, Wyatt, the Authority – but, eventually…” Roman finally looked up at her and got up, taking steps closer and Renee just looked back at him, sighing.

“Renee, I can’t promise it’ll ever be the same again,” he said. “But if… if you’re willing to wait –“

“I’ll wait,” she suddenly said and took Roman by surprise a little. Lying to others was one thing but lying to yourself… that was something Renee just couldn’t do anymore. She almost smiled a little as she shrugged at Roman. “I’ve waited this long, already.”

Roman smiled a little too, and gave her a big bear hug and Renee felt a little bit of comfort in his strong arms. What Renee didn’t tell Roman, though, was that she had know idea how long she _could_ wait… and if Dean really was the man that Renee thought he was, he wouldn’t keep her waiting long enough for her to find out.

“He’s not an easy man to love, Renee,” Roman suddenly said and Renee tensed up a little at the choice of words, which she didn’t know if the Samoan man noticed. “But he doesn’t love easily, either – but when he does… I’d say only a handful of people have had the privilege to experience that.”

Roman didn’t elaborate and Renee didn’t ask. They agreed it wouldn’t be wise seeing together, but Roman promised Renee he’d tell her the minute Dean would contact him again. Renee almost asked him not to. As he left her alone in the hotel room to pack, she asked him quietly to turn on the lights. Roman smiled at her kindly as he did, and closed the door behind him.

Renee allowed herself to break down one last time before she’d continue to do what she had always done: being a professional. And Renee Young had a taping of Smackdown to attend to tomorrow. She hadn’t said it to Roman, but it did actually piss her off that, unlike some people, she didn’t have the liberty of just coming and going however the hell they pleased. Renee stopped for a moment and realized how angry at Dean she actually was. How _bitter_ her thoughts towards him were. She didn’t hate him, she could never do that but… Dean chose to leave. He couldn’t face her. Roman, even _Seth_ … but not her.

Suddenly she remembered her conversation with the said man earlier, and felt a little uneasy. She had completely forgotten about it and hadn’t told Roman… but if they were going take their distance, anyway…. Renee decided she’d tell him _and_ Dean when he was actually ready face her.

 _If, not when_ , a grim voice in her head whispered, sounding all too familiar. The first day of June, a day that seemed like had last forever was finally ending but the next morning terrified Renee, not knowing if she could get any sleep... or that the whole hadn't been just a big nightmare, like she secretly hoped it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that's a LOT of angst in one chapter. Again, sorry for the delay, this was really a pain to write (literally) since I couldn't make up my mind about what to put in this chapter and what in the next. But adding dates helps me keep up myself :D 
> 
> As we get closer to Money in the Bank, we also get closer to the end of this fic. That's all I'm gonna say for now...


	8. The Architect

**_June 2 nd_ **

_“YOU SOLD OUT!”_

_"YOU SOLD OUT!”_

_"YOU SOLD OUT!”_

The almost deafening chants filled the arena in Houston as Seth took his seat on a steel chair in the middle of the ring. It had been, so far, the most defining year of his life – and everyone knew that. Their chants, boos and so-called insults were born out of jealousy and simply because… the truth hurt. And the truth was: Seth Rollins was the WWE World Heavyweight Champion because yes, he sold out. Not a direct consequence of dismantling the SHIELD (or “stabbing his brothers in the back” as _they_ put it), of course, but he had set his incredible success to motion that same night – nearly a year ago to the day.

So as little anniversary present for every single ungrateful member of the WWE Universe and especially to his former “brothers in arms”, Seth decided to start out Smackdown by reminding everyone of the truth that they knew but decided to ignore in their stupidity. And he did. He told them of his success, his and his alone, and they chanted their little chants and booed and threw insults as him, as they do… but that only meant that they were reacting to his words. They were listening to him. In the end, they always did. In the audience… and backstage.

“At Money in the Bank, _my title_ will be hanging over this ring!” he declared, ready to give the finishing blow to _everyone_ listening. Fine, he didn’t get to choose the match stipulation at Money in the Bank… but neither did Dean Ambrose. And Seth was more than eager to hear what that lunatic had to say about it.

“ _I_ will climb the ladder and retrieve what _I_ have rightfully earned! And when the dust is clear at Money in the Bank, I’ll have proven –“

“ _Seth!_ ”

He turned his head towards the titantron as if he was shocked (he wasn’t) to see Dean Ambrose’s mess of a face staring back at him. He knew Dean would show up to interrupt him, but there was no way he was actually anywhere even near the arena. If he was, he would’ve showed up in the ring himself.

The only thing that made Seth make the sour look he had on his face was the fact that Dean was parading around with something that did _not_ belong to him.

“I couldn’t help hearin’ your little story about doing things all by yourself – the question is: d’you have a bad memory or are you just a liar? ” Dean asked mockingly and Seth almost let a grin flash across his face – for someone who was being called _unpredictable_ , Dean Ambrose was as predictable as they came… well, at least to Seth.

“For as long as I can remember, you always needed help,” Dean shrugged. “I mean, you couldn’t get through an airport without breakin’ down and askin’ one of us to help you with your bags… You got more luggage with a rich girl with daddy issues. But I always knew you were a liar, Seth – well, who am I to judge, I am every bit the scumbag that you are.”

_My words exactly, Ambrose._

“But if there’s one lie that I can’t stand,” Dean said, clearly getting heated up. “If there’s _one lie_ that’ll drive me nuts when I hear it, it’s you callin’ yourself WWE World Heavyweight Champion after _I beat you_ in the center of the ring and _the whole world_ saw it, so you can put up your little dog n’ pony show all you want!”

Though he tried to keep his head cool, Seth found himself actually getting angry at seeing Dean Ambrose boasting about a victory he did _not_ get, holding a title he did _not_ win.

“We all know that the Authority will do everything in their power to protect their precious investment,” Dean said while looking at the title. “They’ll send monsters, they’ll send demons, they’ll send giants, they’ll send in the cavalry, they’ll send J & J! Everything to make sure that _this_ … never slips through their fingers, ever, _ever_ again and you _know_ that. That helps you sleep at night. And that’s made you soft. And that’s made you weak.”

 _God_ , Seth wanted _nothing_ more than to shut that self-righteous mess-of-a-man up – but he couldn’t, not right now, no. He had to be patient if he was going to get anything of value out of Dean.

“You wanna talk about doing things by yourself?!” Dean yelled, clearly frustrated and letting his feelings get the better of him. _Good_. “Y’know what I’ve been doing for the last year, Seth? _Surviving._ I’ve had to grow wise in _the back of my head_ –“

And he actually tapped the back of his head, looking straight at Seth through the titantron, and narrowed his eyes only slightly. He kept the smallest of pauses while speaking, and his whole body seemed to tense up… and Seth had to hold in a laugh. He’d been right: Moxley _had_ come out to play again. He had suspected it the moment Roman appeared on Raw, talking about the stipulation he hadn’t come up with… which brought Seth to Renee Young.

She was involved for some reason, Seth was sure about that. He hadn't exactly trusted someone like Wyatt when he had mentioned her name, saying she knew more than she let on – but after he had had that little chat with her... Well, he didn’t know the whole story, though the cut on her lip had told _a_ story, at least, and it wasn’t falling down in the shower.

And now, with Dean bringing up Moxley in his speech in a way that Seth couldn’t possibly miss… Oh, this power-play was almost fun, Dean trying to make clear that Seth couldn’t possibly use Moxley against him anymore.

_We’ll see about that, Deano._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short mid-chapter, just because I really liked Dean's promo...


	9. Orleans

**_June 8th_ **  

_He’s coming to Raw._

Renee almost felt ashamed how that was the only thought circling her brain as she couldn’t concentrate on anything happening around her. Like everyone else, she had seen the pictures in Instagram of Dean going around New Orleans with the WWE title, showing off and clearly trying to piss off Seth and the Authority by doing so – but now he was actually coming to Raw. Renee felt the same way she had a week ago, when she had gotten a glimpse of him backstage, and seen him barge into the arena… And she was afraid that was all he was going to do again.

But Renee wouldn’t have it. Not this time. This time she was going to find him, and confront him. And if he still insisted on running away… then she’d know for sure.

“Did you know he was in Orleans?” she asked Roman as she confronted him not before he was due to have a match with a fellow MITB laddermatch competitor, Kofi Kingston, which Renee knew didn’t worry the big Samoan that much…. but he still seemed to on edge, with so much to think about. Including Dean.

“I swear I had no idea,” Roman huffed. “S’not like I haven’t been trying to reach ‘im for the past week myself…” The big man crossed his arms, clearly a little pissed off at Dean himself. Renee still couldn’t help but feel he was lying to her, something in her gut told her so… or then it was just someone else’s voice inside her head.

“Hey,” Roman suddenly said and put a hand on Renee’s shoulder, as she had drifted off to her own thoughts, bringing her back to the present. “If he is comin’… he’ll come for you. Believe _that_.”

Renee chuckled a bit at the use of Roman’s “catch phrase” on her, but that was the only reason she smiled at him. She had no idea what to say about him being so sure about Dean – or what to believe.

“Well,” she sighed and brushed Roman’s hand off her shoulder with a subtle move that still felt a little harsh when he was just trying to be there for her. But she had her reasons. “If he doesn’t… at least I’ll know for sure.”

Roman looked at her with a thoughtful face and was just about to say something when the phone in his pocket suddenly rang. He took the phone in his hand and Renee knew exactly who the caller the was the minute Roman looked at the screen.

_Please, just tell me the truth._

“I gotta take this,” Roman said, instead and gave Renee a quick pat on her shoulder before turning away to leave – and Renee was almost going to let him. Almost.

“I’m not an idiot, you know,” she said after him and Roman stopped, taking a deep breath, and turning around.

“Renee –“

“I know it’s him, Roman, but you could’ve at least told me,” she let out, sounding more bitter than she meant… maybe. “Do you really expect me to believe that he hasn’t contacted you for a week?”

Roman was silent. Of course he was.

“You knew he was coming,” she mumbled and turned her head away, shaking it. “Of course you did, you… you’re his friend. His only friend.”

“Renee –“

“What was I thinking?”

“Hey!” Roman let out, taking a step forward and looking at Renee with a little frustration. “Fine, I’ve been texting with him last week.”

Renee let out a small huff and shook her head. Somehow she wasn’t surprised.

“Askin’ where he is but he wouldn’t tell. Just said not to worry,” Roman let out. “He knows that I do, though… But as I said, I had no idea he was in Orleans.” He looked at Renee with furrowed brows and let out a small sigh. “Y’know, if you really think he ain’t planning on seeing you tonight, you have no idea how much he _really_ cares about you.”

“You’re right, Roman, because all I have is _your_ word for it,” Renee suddenly said louder than he had expected. Roman looked around, a little nervous that someone might hear them but Renee couldn’t help her volume anymore. “For all _I_ know, Dean never came back and _Moxley_ is still out there, running around in his body!”

A small moment of silence fell between the two, and only Roman’s phone kept making noise. Roman just swallowed, and lowered his eyes a bit and Renee felt a small blush on her cheeks. She brushed her hair a bit, nervously.

“If he _really_ cared as you say he does…” she mumbled, glancing at the phone. “He wouldn’t have kept me waiting _at all_.”

She raised her eyes at Roman and there was that same bitter look behind them. Roman knew exactly what she meant. After waking up in _her_ hotel room, Dean had gone straight to Roman’s rescue to Raw, and had even confronted him about the truth right after.

“It wasn’t always like that,” Roman let out, sounding more defensive, and a little annoyed. “The _first_ time Moxley _really_ crossed a line with me, Dean kept me waiting for much longer than a week. You know that.”

“And all was forgiven when you saw him?”

“I already told you –“

“You’re too kind on him,” Renee said and Roman looked at her with an almost angry expression. “That’s why you lied to him even though it killed you inside. Roman, he’s not some fragile little kid, he’s a grown man – and he should really start acting like one.”

With that, Renee turned her back on the Samoan man and didn’t look back. As far as she was concerned, he made no effort to stop her from leaving. She heard his phone stop ringing and him answering the call.

Walking away quickly, Renee found herself fighting tears out of frustration. The reality was slowly starting to dawn on her: Dean was coming to Raw – but he wasn’t coming for her.

Roman sighed after Renee, not able to take the annoying ringing of his phone anymore and took the call.

“Running ‘round Orleans all by yourself, deciding to hitch a ride on Raw – and _not_ callin’ me before?” Roman tried keeping his voice down, but ended up sounding like a disapproving, stressed out parent. “Are you outta your damn mind?”

“Depends on who you ask,” Dean mumbled with a chuckle to the phone. “Listen, Ro, I’m –“

“No, you listen to me,” Roman said louder than he had meant and looked around cautiously but saw no one. He lowered his tone a bit. “If you’re really planning on coming here and not talking to her, you might as well stay the hell away.”

All Roman heard was sigh on the other end, and then silence.

“Dean,” Roman said. “If you really care about this girl, and I know you do…” He paused a bit, taking a deep breath and shook his head a little. Renee had a point… and Roman owed her that much.

“You can’t just take off like that, not anymore,” he said with a kind but stern voice. “That’s not how you deal with things, especially with people you care about.”

“ _I know_ ,” Dean let out, sounding a bit tense. “I know… but just – just let me worry ‘bout it, aight? No offense but what’s between me ‘n her is between me ‘n her… yeah?”

Roman gave a sigh in return and said nothing. Dean was clearly avoiding facing Renee and the reality of it all, it was clear now – put he had a point. He had nothing to do with what was between them and maybe it was best he didn’t even try. Maybe Renee would prefer that, too.

Yet somehow, deep down… Roman felt uneasy at Dean’s words. He couldn’t really place his finger on it but something just felt off. Maybe what Renee had said still bothered him a lot more than he’d thought.

“You haven’t still had your match, right?” Dean asked, changing the subject.

“No.”

“Then do me a favor and save a brother a seat, will ya?”

 

* * *

 

The win against Kingston wasn’t easy, thanks to his team mates E and Woods who kept trying to interfere in their buddy’s favor – as Roman had suspected. Thanks to that, he was still able to come on top and pin Kingston 1, 2, 3. As his music hit, Roman smiled and eventually exited the ring, taking a steel chair from ringside, confusing everyone. He held the chair in hand, leaned against the barricade – and waited.

And even after everything, as the loud guitar riff went off and the arena burst into screams, Roman smiled. He looked back and saw Dean standing on top of the stairs in the arena, with the WWE World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder, holding a soda and a huge bag of popcorn. He laughed and talked his way down, and finally reached the barricade, smiling at Roman.

“Took you long enough,” Roman chuckled and handed the chair over to his brother, who just shrugged.

“Well, I had some trouble gettin’ a ride,” Dean said. “Turns out not that many people actually know who I am, I mean – I’m the goddamn Champ, right?”

“Sure are,” Roman smiled and grabbed Dean’s soda, sniffing it a bit jokingly – but actually smelling the strong smell of liquor. Dean just grabbed the “soda” from his hands and smirked.

“Ain’t it a bit too early?” Roman said with a raised brow and Dean just shrugged, waving his hand.

“I know, I know, business hours an’ all that,” Dean mumbled under his breath and leaned in, finally looking Roman straight in eyes with a small smirk. “But let’s just keep it between us… huh, big guy?”

Roman’s smile fainted a little, as he cocked his head a little. He felt the same way he had while talking to Dean on the phone. Like something was off. Roman narrowed his eyes at Dean only slightly and the more he did, the more his expression changed… and so did Dean’s. A familiar smirk started to replace his joking smile, as Dean couldn’t help but chuckle out loud, biting his lip a little.

In that split of a second, Roman realized. He felt a hundred different feelings rushing through him like a crushing wave. He wanted to say something, do something… but there were cameras. Raw was live. There were civilians, a lot of them, all eyes on the two men. He couldn’t do _anything_ without raising attention.

“You really shouldn’t be here,” was all Roman managed to say, with a half-baked smile he was just able to fake, knowing well there were people watching and listening.

“Well, y’know what they say,” Moxley chuckled and leaned in again. “If you want something done right…”

He winked and Roman had to fight every fiber of his being not to punch the man’s teeth in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, been busy again. And though I did plan this fic before even starting to publish it, it's grown a mind of its own and decides to change direction every now and then... Cliffhangers are a bitch.


End file.
